Tuesday, December 14, 2010
7:52 PM Ok, maybe my side isn't so flattering...
Via text one bright Saturday morning...
Mom (8:15:15 AM): U were at happy hour for like 12 hours ;)
T (8:57:19 AM): I hooked up with [TEXT REMOVED TO PROTECT, UH, ME]
Mom (8:58:16 AM): Hmmm - kissing a cute guy isn't a bad night ;)
T (8:59:22 AM): Hahaha yeah it was pretty great. Kill me tho
Mom (8:59:51 AM): Why kill u?
T (9:00:45 AM): Ha because I'm hungover and I made out with [TEXT REMOVED...AGAIN]
Mom (9:03:13 AM): U had fun last night so that is good. Take some Tylenol, drink a big glass of water and go back to sleep - u only slept 4 hours. ...Que será será (not sure how to spell that).
T (9:03:57 AM): Ahhh you're the best mom ever
Love,
Tara
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Riding Trains With Strangers
Saturday, December 4, 2010
10:25 PM This is my life.
Let me tell you about the train ride home yesterday. So, it's Friday evening. I get out of work around six and elbow my way through the mobs of people surrounding Rockefeller Plaza. It's an interesting mix of awestruck tourists trying to get to the tree and angry New Yorkers trying to get home from work. I don't think I've heard the words "Jesus Christ" uttered so many times in such a short span of time.
So, I get to Penn Station and I'm standing by the giant Departure board, waiting for my gate to be announced. While impatiently shifting my bags I get irrationally angry as I watch a girl my age coming up the escalator holding a bag of popcorn. Instead of using her other free hand to eat the popcorn, she dips her tongue into the bag and happily munches away. This evokes an anger in me I can't fully describe, but I feel a little better imagining myself punching the bag out of her hands. Why so angry? It's not nice or even logical, but maybe it's because I'm breathless and achy and stressed and there she is, floating up the escalator, tonguing her popcorn.
Anyway, the gate gets listed and I elbow my way through the line and get on the train. I had forgotten my iPod at home the weekend before, so I was especially psyched to nab a seat in the "Quiet Car." I was looking forward to peace and quiet, especially since I didn't have music to distract me or to drown out noise.
Alas, just as the train is about to leave, I notice a middle-aged man hovering near my seat. Actually, that's not true. I smelled stale smoke, and then I realized a middle-aged man was hovering near my seat. "Can I sit here?" he smiled, through yellow teeth. "Sure," I shrugged, turning back to my book.
Even looking back now, I can't figure out what possessed this man to talk to me. In fact, I'm not sure what possesses any man to talk to me when I don't want to be talked to, because I think I make my body language pretty clear. I had my head buried in a book and I had my body shifted away from him (and the stench of smoke) and toward the window. Oh, and did I mention the book I was reading was "Chastened"? Like, if the fact that I'm sitting alone on a train reading a book doesn't scream "Hey Men! Don't talk to me!" the fact that the book I'm reading says "CHASTENED" in big black letters across the front should be enough to send any sane man running. But alas, I have always had a knack for attracting the crazies...
Announcer: (static) ...Ladies and Gentleman, this is the 6:43 train 148 regional train to Springfield, Massachusetts...
Creeper: (takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment) Say, do you know if this train is going to Springfield?
T: (looks up from her book) I think so.
T turns back to her book.
2 minutes later...
Creeper: So, are you from Manhattan?
T: (half looks up) No, I'm not.
The Creeper pauses, takes a deep breath and holds it again. T braces herself.
Creeper: Well, I'm from Springfield.
T nods, not looking up from her book.
1 minute later...
Creeper: I wonder why people from Connecticut don't have accents. Like in Massachusetts, where I'm from people say, "I'm going to pahk the cah," but people in Connecticut don't sound like that.
T: (looks at the Creeper, mostly to be sure this is actually happening) Yeah, I don't know.
8 minutes later...
The Creeper stands up.
Creeper: Would you mind watching my bag for me?
T: Sure.
15 minutes later the Creeper returns, Bloody Mary in hand. He sits down and slurps loudly.
Creeper: You know, I gotta tell ya, these drinks are pretty good.
T: (no longer bothering to look up) That's good.
Creeper: Would you like one?
T: Nope, I'm all set.
The Creeper slurps loudly.
15 minutes later the Creeper stands up and leaves again. He returns five minutes later with another Bloody Mary. He sits down heavily.
Creeper: Did you know they call this the 'Quiet Car'? I'm going to call it the 'Party Car.'
T: (raises an eyebrow) Are you allowed to do that?
T braces herself. In her impulse to go to sarcasm she has accidentally asked the Creeper a question. Fortunately he is too busy gulping his Bloody Mary to answer.
5 minutes later...
Creeper: I bet you're in school will all that reading you're doing.
T: I do like reading.
NOTE: T dodges the question about college on purpose. Talking about college or anything related to college is dangerous. Much like marijuana is considered a gateway drug to the use of other more dangerous drugs, talking about college can lead to a plethora of more dangerous topics of conversation. Questions like where you went, what you majored in, and how you liked it can go on forever, quickly leaving you helpless and wondering at what point in the conversation you lost control.
10 minutes later...
Creeper: May I ask how many more years of school you have?
T: (exasperated) I've graduated.
Creeper: Oh wow! I bet you were a business major.
T: (turning a page in her book) Nope.
Creeper: Sorry?
T: (she looks at him and enunciates) I wasn't a business major.
1 minute later...
Creeper: Well, I was a psychology major. I chose it because I'm so mentally screwed up, I thought it would help me figure some stuff out. But then I realized my professors were even more screwed up than I was!
T: That's good you learned something.
T is seriously considering pretending to fall asleep at this point, except she's sort of afraid he'll sit there and watch her. Then something miraculous happens...
Creeper: I just got a promotion at work and they want me t-
The woman sitting in front of T and the Creeper turns around.
Woman: (to the Creeper) Excuse me, would you mind keeping it down?
Creeper: I'm so sorry.
T smirks into her book.
Not five minutes later, the Creeper stands up, gathers his things, bids T farewell and moves into a different car.
To his credit, he did so quietly.
Love,
Tara
10:25 PM This is my life.
Let me tell you about the train ride home yesterday. So, it's Friday evening. I get out of work around six and elbow my way through the mobs of people surrounding Rockefeller Plaza. It's an interesting mix of awestruck tourists trying to get to the tree and angry New Yorkers trying to get home from work. I don't think I've heard the words "Jesus Christ" uttered so many times in such a short span of time.
So, I get to Penn Station and I'm standing by the giant Departure board, waiting for my gate to be announced. While impatiently shifting my bags I get irrationally angry as I watch a girl my age coming up the escalator holding a bag of popcorn. Instead of using her other free hand to eat the popcorn, she dips her tongue into the bag and happily munches away. This evokes an anger in me I can't fully describe, but I feel a little better imagining myself punching the bag out of her hands. Why so angry? It's not nice or even logical, but maybe it's because I'm breathless and achy and stressed and there she is, floating up the escalator, tonguing her popcorn.
Anyway, the gate gets listed and I elbow my way through the line and get on the train. I had forgotten my iPod at home the weekend before, so I was especially psyched to nab a seat in the "Quiet Car." I was looking forward to peace and quiet, especially since I didn't have music to distract me or to drown out noise.
Alas, just as the train is about to leave, I notice a middle-aged man hovering near my seat. Actually, that's not true. I smelled stale smoke, and then I realized a middle-aged man was hovering near my seat. "Can I sit here?" he smiled, through yellow teeth. "Sure," I shrugged, turning back to my book.
Even looking back now, I can't figure out what possessed this man to talk to me. In fact, I'm not sure what possesses any man to talk to me when I don't want to be talked to, because I think I make my body language pretty clear. I had my head buried in a book and I had my body shifted away from him (and the stench of smoke) and toward the window. Oh, and did I mention the book I was reading was "Chastened"? Like, if the fact that I'm sitting alone on a train reading a book doesn't scream "Hey Men! Don't talk to me!" the fact that the book I'm reading says "CHASTENED" in big black letters across the front should be enough to send any sane man running. But alas, I have always had a knack for attracting the crazies...
Announcer: (static) ...Ladies and Gentleman, this is the 6:43 train 148 regional train to Springfield, Massachusetts...
Creeper: (takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment) Say, do you know if this train is going to Springfield?
T: (looks up from her book) I think so.
T turns back to her book.
2 minutes later...
Creeper: So, are you from Manhattan?
T: (half looks up) No, I'm not.
The Creeper pauses, takes a deep breath and holds it again. T braces herself.
Creeper: Well, I'm from Springfield.
T nods, not looking up from her book.
1 minute later...
Creeper: I wonder why people from Connecticut don't have accents. Like in Massachusetts, where I'm from people say, "I'm going to pahk the cah," but people in Connecticut don't sound like that.
T: (looks at the Creeper, mostly to be sure this is actually happening) Yeah, I don't know.
8 minutes later...
The Creeper stands up.
Creeper: Would you mind watching my bag for me?
T: Sure.
15 minutes later the Creeper returns, Bloody Mary in hand. He sits down and slurps loudly.
Creeper: You know, I gotta tell ya, these drinks are pretty good.
T: (no longer bothering to look up) That's good.
Creeper: Would you like one?
T: Nope, I'm all set.
The Creeper slurps loudly.
15 minutes later the Creeper stands up and leaves again. He returns five minutes later with another Bloody Mary. He sits down heavily.
Creeper: Did you know they call this the 'Quiet Car'? I'm going to call it the 'Party Car.'
T: (raises an eyebrow) Are you allowed to do that?
T braces herself. In her impulse to go to sarcasm she has accidentally asked the Creeper a question. Fortunately he is too busy gulping his Bloody Mary to answer.
5 minutes later...
Creeper: I bet you're in school will all that reading you're doing.
T: I do like reading.
NOTE: T dodges the question about college on purpose. Talking about college or anything related to college is dangerous. Much like marijuana is considered a gateway drug to the use of other more dangerous drugs, talking about college can lead to a plethora of more dangerous topics of conversation. Questions like where you went, what you majored in, and how you liked it can go on forever, quickly leaving you helpless and wondering at what point in the conversation you lost control.
10 minutes later...
Creeper: May I ask how many more years of school you have?
T: (exasperated) I've graduated.
Creeper: Oh wow! I bet you were a business major.
T: (turning a page in her book) Nope.
Creeper: Sorry?
T: (she looks at him and enunciates) I wasn't a business major.
1 minute later...
Creeper: Well, I was a psychology major. I chose it because I'm so mentally screwed up, I thought it would help me figure some stuff out. But then I realized my professors were even more screwed up than I was!
T: That's good you learned something.
T is seriously considering pretending to fall asleep at this point, except she's sort of afraid he'll sit there and watch her. Then something miraculous happens...
Creeper: I just got a promotion at work and they want me t-
The woman sitting in front of T and the Creeper turns around.
Woman: (to the Creeper) Excuse me, would you mind keeping it down?
Creeper: I'm so sorry.
T smirks into her book.
Not five minutes later, the Creeper stands up, gathers his things, bids T farewell and moves into a different car.
To his credit, he did so quietly.
Love,
Tara
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Exclamation Point!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
9:03 PM This week I'm thankful for...
This past weekend while I was home in CT, I went shopping with my mom and she bought me...wait for it... a brand new Vera Bradley planner for 2011! It's beautiful and pink with lots of white swirly designs on it and has everything I need to take my OCD to whole new levels.
One thing I love about the planner is at the end of each week it poses a sort of fill in the blank. Written at the bottom of the page is something like "This week I'm thankful for..." and then you fill it whatever you like. As I transfer notes and important dates from my old planner to my new planner, I thought it might be interesting to look at all of my answers from the past year and a half. I haven't cheated and looked ahead yet. I'm a little scared...
Week 31: This week I'm thankful for... my friends!
Week 32: This week I laughed when... I watched Kaitlyn's play!
Week 33: The best thing that happened this week was... when I got an email from NBC asking me to interview for a job!
Week 34: This week I smiled when... I drove with Greg up to Boston to see Ally, Kelly + Szebs.
Week 35: This week I'm thankful for... my supportive, patient family.
Week 36: This week I laughed when... Christina called me!
Week 37: The best thing that happened this week was... getting together with Ally, A and Steph at Maxamore.
Week 38: This week I smiled when... I hear Candace Bushnell speak.
Week 39: This week I'm thankful for... my mom.
Week 40: This week I laughed when... I went to Ang's with Karen.
Week 41: The best thing that happened this week was... when * messaged me on Facebook :)
Week 42: This week I smiled when... * and I texted for five hours on Thursday :)
Week 43: This week I'm thankful for... the girls of 426 :)
Week 44: This week I laughed when... * was texting me on Wednesday.
Week 45: The best thing that happened this week was... getting out of a relationship that was going no where... even though it was hard!
Week 46: This week I smiled when... my Welcome Packet from NBC came :)
Week 47: This week I'm thankful for... the health of my friends and family.
Week 48: This week I laughed when... I spent time with good friends at South Tavern Wednesday night.
Week 49: The best thing that happened this week was... (possibly) finding a cool, normal roommate for NYC!
Week 50: This week I smiled when... I got to see everyone in COM :)
Week 51: This week I'm thankful for... my dad for always helping me out :)
Week 52: This week I laughed when... I saw Kaylee on Christmas.
Week 1: The best thing that happened this week was... laying by the pool in Key West.
Week 2: This week I smiled when... I told my family i got my start date from NBC.
Week 3: This week I'm thankful for... my dad, who is always there for me.
Week 4: This week I laughed when... I got to sit in the audience for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon!
Week 5: The best thing that happened this week was... getting to go home!
Week 6: This week I smiled when... I went out with everyone to the mentor/mentee dinner.
Week 7: This week I'm thankful for... my will to persevere!
Week 8: This week I laughed when... I saw 'Up In The Air.'
Week 9: The best thing that happened this week was... winning the Page of the Month award!!!!!!
Week 10: This week I smiled when... I got the Corp Comm assignment.
Week 11: This week I'm thankful for... days off!
Week 12: This week I laughed when... I went to Perdition with the pages Saturday night.
Week 13: The best thing that happened this week was... going to Katie's birthday party with the pages.
Week 14: This week I smiled when... my cousins came over for Easter :)
Week 15: This week I'm thankful for... my page friends :)
Week 16: This week I laughed when... I went to the Brooklyn Brewery with the pages.
Week 17: The best thing that happened this week was... having an awesome dinner with Liz!
Week 18: This week I smiled when... we were at No Idea for my birthday :)
Week 19: This week I'm thankful for... my mom <3
Week 20: This week I laughed when... I was at the SNL season finale After, After with all my friends!
Week 21: The best thing that happened this week was... getting Saturday TC!
Week 22: This week I smiled when... Corp Comm threw me a goodbye lunch!
Week 24: This week I laughed when... I was at the page council meeting.
Week 25: The best thing that happened this week was... getting to spend 3 days at home!
Week 26: This week I smiled when... * brought me strawberries.
Week 27: This week I'm thankful for... chick flicks :)
Week 28: This week I laughed when... I hung out with Arianna.
Week 29: The best thing that happened this week was... going to Stone Harbor with my family!
Week 30: This week I smiled when... I went to brunch with Mike and Kayla.
Week 31: This week I'm thankful for... good books!
Week 32: This week I laughed when... I saw Kaitlyn's play.
Week 33: The best thing that happened this week was... going on the Sports Marketing outing!
Week 34: This week I smiled when I found out Stephen and Rebecca are having a baby!
Week 35: This week I'm thankful for... my fantastic assignment :)
Week 36: This week I laughed when... I was at Grandma's.
Week 37: The best thing that happened this week was... having Steph come and visit!
Week 38 : This week I smiled when... we successfully threw a surprise party for Mom and Dad's 25th wedding anniversary!
Week 39: This week I'm thankful for... my family.
Week 40: This week I laughed when... I was watching 'The Office' at the gym.
Week 41: The best thing that happened this week was... working SNL and the epic After parties!
Week 42: This week I smiled when... I hung out with Greg and Cabral :)
Week 43: This week I'm thankful for... weekends!
Week 44: This week I laughed when... I went to dinner with everyone after the rally!
Week 45: The best thing that happened this week was... having a great weekend!
* names have been deleted to protect the stupid and innocent (namely me)
Now, I realize this is probably interesting to only me, but the lesson here?
1.) I use a lot of exclamation points.
2.) I use a lot of emoticons... even when I'm not typing.
3.) I've had a pretty great year and a half.
4.) I have a lot more to look forward to (exclamation point!)
Love,
Tara
9:03 PM This week I'm thankful for...
This past weekend while I was home in CT, I went shopping with my mom and she bought me...wait for it... a brand new Vera Bradley planner for 2011! It's beautiful and pink with lots of white swirly designs on it and has everything I need to take my OCD to whole new levels.
One thing I love about the planner is at the end of each week it poses a sort of fill in the blank. Written at the bottom of the page is something like "This week I'm thankful for..." and then you fill it whatever you like. As I transfer notes and important dates from my old planner to my new planner, I thought it might be interesting to look at all of my answers from the past year and a half. I haven't cheated and looked ahead yet. I'm a little scared...
Week 31: This week I'm thankful for... my friends!
Week 32: This week I laughed when... I watched Kaitlyn's play!
Week 33: The best thing that happened this week was... when I got an email from NBC asking me to interview for a job!
Week 34: This week I smiled when... I drove with Greg up to Boston to see Ally, Kelly + Szebs.
Week 35: This week I'm thankful for... my supportive, patient family.
Week 36: This week I laughed when... Christina called me!
Week 37: The best thing that happened this week was... getting together with Ally, A and Steph at Maxamore.
Week 38: This week I smiled when... I hear Candace Bushnell speak.
Week 39: This week I'm thankful for... my mom.
Week 40: This week I laughed when... I went to Ang's with Karen.
Week 41: The best thing that happened this week was... when * messaged me on Facebook :)
Week 42: This week I smiled when... * and I texted for five hours on Thursday :)
Week 43: This week I'm thankful for... the girls of 426 :)
Week 44: This week I laughed when... * was texting me on Wednesday.
Week 45: The best thing that happened this week was... getting out of a relationship that was going no where... even though it was hard!
Week 46: This week I smiled when... my Welcome Packet from NBC came :)
Week 47: This week I'm thankful for... the health of my friends and family.
Week 48: This week I laughed when... I spent time with good friends at South Tavern Wednesday night.
Week 49: The best thing that happened this week was... (possibly) finding a cool, normal roommate for NYC!
Week 50: This week I smiled when... I got to see everyone in COM :)
Week 51: This week I'm thankful for... my dad for always helping me out :)
Week 52: This week I laughed when... I saw Kaylee on Christmas.
Week 1: The best thing that happened this week was... laying by the pool in Key West.
Week 2: This week I smiled when... I told my family i got my start date from NBC.
Week 3: This week I'm thankful for... my dad, who is always there for me.
Week 4: This week I laughed when... I got to sit in the audience for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon!
Week 5: The best thing that happened this week was... getting to go home!
Week 6: This week I smiled when... I went out with everyone to the mentor/mentee dinner.
Week 7: This week I'm thankful for... my will to persevere!
Week 8: This week I laughed when... I saw 'Up In The Air.'
Week 9: The best thing that happened this week was... winning the Page of the Month award!!!!!!
Week 10: This week I smiled when... I got the Corp Comm assignment.
Week 11: This week I'm thankful for... days off!
Week 12: This week I laughed when... I went to Perdition with the pages Saturday night.
Week 13: The best thing that happened this week was... going to Katie's birthday party with the pages.
Week 14: This week I smiled when... my cousins came over for Easter :)
Week 15: This week I'm thankful for... my page friends :)
Week 16: This week I laughed when... I went to the Brooklyn Brewery with the pages.
Week 17: The best thing that happened this week was... having an awesome dinner with Liz!
Week 18: This week I smiled when... we were at No Idea for my birthday :)
Week 19: This week I'm thankful for... my mom <3
Week 20: This week I laughed when... I was at the SNL season finale After, After with all my friends!
Week 21: The best thing that happened this week was... getting Saturday TC!
Week 22: This week I smiled when... Corp Comm threw me a goodbye lunch!
Week 24: This week I laughed when... I was at the page council meeting.
Week 25: The best thing that happened this week was... getting to spend 3 days at home!
Week 26: This week I smiled when... * brought me strawberries.
Week 27: This week I'm thankful for... chick flicks :)
Week 28: This week I laughed when... I hung out with Arianna.
Week 29: The best thing that happened this week was... going to Stone Harbor with my family!
Week 30: This week I smiled when... I went to brunch with Mike and Kayla.
Week 31: This week I'm thankful for... good books!
Week 32: This week I laughed when... I saw Kaitlyn's play.
Week 33: The best thing that happened this week was... going on the Sports Marketing outing!
Week 34: This week I smiled when I found out Stephen and Rebecca are having a baby!
Week 35: This week I'm thankful for... my fantastic assignment :)
Week 36: This week I laughed when... I was at Grandma's.
Week 37: The best thing that happened this week was... having Steph come and visit!
Week 38 : This week I smiled when... we successfully threw a surprise party for Mom and Dad's 25th wedding anniversary!
Week 39: This week I'm thankful for... my family.
Week 40: This week I laughed when... I was watching 'The Office' at the gym.
Week 41: The best thing that happened this week was... working SNL and the epic After parties!
Week 42: This week I smiled when... I hung out with Greg and Cabral :)
Week 43: This week I'm thankful for... weekends!
Week 44: This week I laughed when... I went to dinner with everyone after the rally!
Week 45: The best thing that happened this week was... having a great weekend!
* names have been deleted to protect the stupid and innocent (namely me)
Now, I realize this is probably interesting to only me, but the lesson here?
1.) I use a lot of exclamation points.
2.) I use a lot of emoticons... even when I'm not typing.
3.) I've had a pretty great year and a half.
4.) I have a lot more to look forward to (exclamation point!)
Love,
Tara
Monday, November 15, 2010
It's Not You, It's Me.
Monday, November 15, 2010
8:56 PM ...and that includes you.
As I near the end of my month-long eHarm experiment, I've been trying to think about what my take-away will be. What's the moral of the story? The message, the theme, the reason? So far, the main thing I've realized is this: If over 200 guys are interested in you and want to get to know you and maybe start a relationship with you, and you can't find ONE that you would consider dating? Honey, it's not them - it's YOU.
I realized this like a week ago, but I couldn't figure out WHY I didn't like any of these guys. What was wrong with me?? I don't come from a broken home. I have a great relationship with my father. I'm not secretly in love with an ex or pining after a male friend, so WHAT was my deal??
It wasn't until just now, as I was eating dinner in bed while watching 'The Office,' that it struck me. I saw the clip below, where Jim talks to Dwight about heartbreak, and started to tear up mid-chew.
I imagine we all deal with heartbreak at some time in our lives, and, now that I think about it, there are few greater personal tragedies than that one. My own personal heartbreak was years ago, but recently I've watched my sister go through it for the first time, and in trying to be of some sort of sisterly help to her, all those awful feelings have come rushing back.
I remember what it's like to feel helpless. To feel lost. To feel just so sad to your very core. To wonder if you will ever feel better, normal, and to know on some level that you probably won't for a very long time.
And while every chick-flick will tell you that love is worth all the heartbreak that came before it, I just can't bring myself to consider it right now.
I'm happy with they way things are. I'm enough.
I don't ever want to find myself crying in a stairwell again.
Love,
Tara
8:56 PM ...and that includes you.
As I near the end of my month-long eHarm experiment, I've been trying to think about what my take-away will be. What's the moral of the story? The message, the theme, the reason? So far, the main thing I've realized is this: If over 200 guys are interested in you and want to get to know you and maybe start a relationship with you, and you can't find ONE that you would consider dating? Honey, it's not them - it's YOU.
I realized this like a week ago, but I couldn't figure out WHY I didn't like any of these guys. What was wrong with me?? I don't come from a broken home. I have a great relationship with my father. I'm not secretly in love with an ex or pining after a male friend, so WHAT was my deal??
It wasn't until just now, as I was eating dinner in bed while watching 'The Office,' that it struck me. I saw the clip below, where Jim talks to Dwight about heartbreak, and started to tear up mid-chew.
I imagine we all deal with heartbreak at some time in our lives, and, now that I think about it, there are few greater personal tragedies than that one. My own personal heartbreak was years ago, but recently I've watched my sister go through it for the first time, and in trying to be of some sort of sisterly help to her, all those awful feelings have come rushing back.
I remember what it's like to feel helpless. To feel lost. To feel just so sad to your very core. To wonder if you will ever feel better, normal, and to know on some level that you probably won't for a very long time.
And while every chick-flick will tell you that love is worth all the heartbreak that came before it, I just can't bring myself to consider it right now.
I'm happy with they way things are. I'm enough.
I don't ever want to find myself crying in a stairwell again.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Straight cash, homey.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
6:26 PM Are you ready for some football??
In honor of NFL Sunday (all I've done today is watch football), I thought I'd post a couple of football-related vids that make me smile.
(I know I'm supposed to hate him, but I can't help it. He's too badass. And he's on my fantasy football team...)
(First, I have loved this song since I was eight years old and heard it on 'The First Wives' Club.' Second, who doesn't love a girl in a jersey? Adding one women's Patriots jersey to my Christmas List...)
Love,
Tara
6:26 PM Are you ready for some football??
In honor of NFL Sunday (all I've done today is watch football), I thought I'd post a couple of football-related vids that make me smile.
(I know I'm supposed to hate him, but I can't help it. He's too badass. And he's on my fantasy football team...)
(First, I have loved this song since I was eight years old and heard it on 'The First Wives' Club.' Second, who doesn't love a girl in a jersey? Adding one women's Patriots jersey to my Christmas List...)
Love,
Tara
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Chastened
Thursday, November 4, 2010
10:01 PM Love your smile...
I'm turning into a slut. Seriously. I'm sorry to be crass, but I'm not sure how else to put it. I am a big eHarmony slut.
My tale is not an unusual one. I started as a naive, young girl who turned to the Internet to... well, to what? Find true love? Appease her curiosity? We'll never know for sure what prompted me to sign on to eHarmony that fateful night, but I did it, and now I can hardly recognize the woman I've become.
At first I didn't want to talk to anyone on eHarm. These men would send me their '5-Questions,' and I would ignore them. But slowly, I started to answer. If a guy looked nice (or normal) I would answer their multiple-choice questions. What's the harm? I thought to myself. I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
Because once you start turning tricks, er, I mean, answering questions, it's hard to stop. I liked the attention and I wanted more. I stopped discriminating so much. Pretty much if you were a guy and you asked me your 5-Questions I would answer. I had no limits. I was out of control.
Oh, the shame! It is only now, looking back, that I can see the error of my ways. The only way I feel I can make this right is by sharing some of the lessons I have learned. But will that be enough? I just don't know...
I could tell you about Stephen. Stephen seemed nice enough. He was tall, good-looking. He was a chef in New York City. He seemed to have a lot going for him. And he was a smooth-talker, that Stephen. He sent me his 5-Questions, and I answered. Then he sent me an Icebreaker. I didn't know what an Icebreaker was, but I learned a lot from Stephen. It was an eHarmony message that read, "Love your smile." Well, that got me smitten. Give a gal a compliment and that'll get you pretty far. It wasn't until we took things to the next stage, the "Must Haves/Can't Stands" stage that I noticed the red flag.
The "Must Haves/Can't Stands" stage is when you go through a list of attributes that eHarm puts together and you check off ten that your ideal partner must have and ten that they must not. "Must Haves" include everything from "Confidence" to "Good Hygiene" whereas "Can't Stands" are like "Racial Intolerance" and "Addictions" (imagine having to pick which one you "can't stand" more...). Well, after that Icebreaker I got bold and sent Stephen my lists. I was in too deep, playing fast and loose. There was no saving me now.
The red flag came when I received Stephen's list and saw that as his first choice for his "Must Haves" he had selected "Sexually Knowledgeable." The description for this attribute reads, "I must have someone who is mature and experienced as a potential sexual partner and is able to express himself/herself freely."
Now, don't get me wrong, sexual expression is all well and good but would I call myself "mature" and "experienced"?! Do I want to be with a guy who needs that?? Or is willing to put that on paper as one of the top ten things he MUST have??!? He could have chosen "Kind" or "Affectionate" or even "Passionate," but he had to go and choose "Sexually Knowledgeable."
Red. Flag.
But how could this be? Things with Stephen were going so well. And he did send me that sweet Icebreaker, after all. I went back to read the Icebreaker for reassurance. That's when I realized... he hadn't written that Icebreaker at all. He had merely selected it from a list of options eHarm gave him. There it was: "Love your smile" right between "Want to chat?" and "I think we have a lot in common." I was devastated.
I could also tell you about John. John seemed nice enough. He sent me his questions, I sent him mine. It was the same old routine. But then he switched things up and sent me an eHarmony email. Normally I rejected guys right away when they asked me to do those kinds of things, but there was something about John that made me willing to experiment. The email was nice too. He said he didn't really like all the weird eHarm questions and he just wanted to talk. Then he asked for my phone number.
Now, that was just too much for a nice girl like me. I may answer any guy's questions, but I still have some limits. There are some things I just won't do. So, I emailed him back and told him I was still kind of new to all this and that I'd rather we just emailed. He wrote back and told me he totally understood. What a relief! Then he asked for my screen name.
Red. Flag.
If we've barely started getting to know each other and you're already incapable of listening to what I'm saying, that does not bode well for our future relationship. You should at least pretend to listen at first. Humor me.
I could tell you more stories, but I'll spare you. The moral of these stories is, I'm taking a little break from eHarm. But don't worry. The experiment isn't over -- I've still got two weeks to go. I just need to regroup. De-slut. You know.
There's a section in everyone's eHarm profile where you can write a little paragraph about the last interesting book you read. I'm currently reading "Chastened" by Hephzibah Anderson, a true story about a 30-year-old single writer who goes one year without having sex.
I'm thinking of adding that to my profile.
Love,
Tara
10:01 PM Love your smile...
I'm turning into a slut. Seriously. I'm sorry to be crass, but I'm not sure how else to put it. I am a big eHarmony slut.
My tale is not an unusual one. I started as a naive, young girl who turned to the Internet to... well, to what? Find true love? Appease her curiosity? We'll never know for sure what prompted me to sign on to eHarmony that fateful night, but I did it, and now I can hardly recognize the woman I've become.
At first I didn't want to talk to anyone on eHarm. These men would send me their '5-Questions,' and I would ignore them. But slowly, I started to answer. If a guy looked nice (or normal) I would answer their multiple-choice questions. What's the harm? I thought to myself. I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
Because once you start turning tricks, er, I mean, answering questions, it's hard to stop. I liked the attention and I wanted more. I stopped discriminating so much. Pretty much if you were a guy and you asked me your 5-Questions I would answer. I had no limits. I was out of control.
Oh, the shame! It is only now, looking back, that I can see the error of my ways. The only way I feel I can make this right is by sharing some of the lessons I have learned. But will that be enough? I just don't know...
I could tell you about Stephen. Stephen seemed nice enough. He was tall, good-looking. He was a chef in New York City. He seemed to have a lot going for him. And he was a smooth-talker, that Stephen. He sent me his 5-Questions, and I answered. Then he sent me an Icebreaker. I didn't know what an Icebreaker was, but I learned a lot from Stephen. It was an eHarmony message that read, "Love your smile." Well, that got me smitten. Give a gal a compliment and that'll get you pretty far. It wasn't until we took things to the next stage, the "Must Haves/Can't Stands" stage that I noticed the red flag.
The "Must Haves/Can't Stands" stage is when you go through a list of attributes that eHarm puts together and you check off ten that your ideal partner must have and ten that they must not. "Must Haves" include everything from "Confidence" to "Good Hygiene" whereas "Can't Stands" are like "Racial Intolerance" and "Addictions" (imagine having to pick which one you "can't stand" more...). Well, after that Icebreaker I got bold and sent Stephen my lists. I was in too deep, playing fast and loose. There was no saving me now.
The red flag came when I received Stephen's list and saw that as his first choice for his "Must Haves" he had selected "Sexually Knowledgeable." The description for this attribute reads, "I must have someone who is mature and experienced as a potential sexual partner and is able to express himself/herself freely."
Now, don't get me wrong, sexual expression is all well and good but would I call myself "mature" and "experienced"?! Do I want to be with a guy who needs that?? Or is willing to put that on paper as one of the top ten things he MUST have??!? He could have chosen "Kind" or "Affectionate" or even "Passionate," but he had to go and choose "Sexually Knowledgeable."
Red. Flag.
But how could this be? Things with Stephen were going so well. And he did send me that sweet Icebreaker, after all. I went back to read the Icebreaker for reassurance. That's when I realized... he hadn't written that Icebreaker at all. He had merely selected it from a list of options eHarm gave him. There it was: "Love your smile" right between "Want to chat?" and "I think we have a lot in common." I was devastated.
I could also tell you about John. John seemed nice enough. He sent me his questions, I sent him mine. It was the same old routine. But then he switched things up and sent me an eHarmony email. Normally I rejected guys right away when they asked me to do those kinds of things, but there was something about John that made me willing to experiment. The email was nice too. He said he didn't really like all the weird eHarm questions and he just wanted to talk. Then he asked for my phone number.
Now, that was just too much for a nice girl like me. I may answer any guy's questions, but I still have some limits. There are some things I just won't do. So, I emailed him back and told him I was still kind of new to all this and that I'd rather we just emailed. He wrote back and told me he totally understood. What a relief! Then he asked for my screen name.
Red. Flag.
If we've barely started getting to know each other and you're already incapable of listening to what I'm saying, that does not bode well for our future relationship. You should at least pretend to listen at first. Humor me.
I could tell you more stories, but I'll spare you. The moral of these stories is, I'm taking a little break from eHarm. But don't worry. The experiment isn't over -- I've still got two weeks to go. I just need to regroup. De-slut. You know.
There's a section in everyone's eHarm profile where you can write a little paragraph about the last interesting book you read. I'm currently reading "Chastened" by Hephzibah Anderson, a true story about a 30-year-old single writer who goes one year without having sex.
I'm thinking of adding that to my profile.
Love,
Tara
Monday, November 1, 2010
"If you keep shouting like that, you'll get big muscles all over your face."
Monday, November 1, 2010
8:53 PM Restore Sanity!
This weekend I was lucky enough to get to go to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear in Washington DC. While I never felt insane (so I guess the rally did its job), I did experience a number of other emotions during my 24 hours in the D to the C. To help me bullet-point the weekend, I'll be using the assistance of Plutchik and his Wheel of Emotions.
Joy ...when the rally began!
Trust ...when a cab driver rescued me when I was lost in the outskirts of DC.
Fear ...when I was lost in DC and thought I was going to miss the after-party!
Surprise ...when I ran into Grandma, Leo, Robbi and Co. outside of The Old Ebbitt Grill.
Sadness ...when dinner was over on Saturday night.
Disgust ...when I saw a FOX News truck.
Anger ...when I was lost in DC and hadn't peed in like nine hours.
Anticipation ...another rally next year?!?!
Love,
Tara
8:53 PM Restore Sanity!
Joy ...when the rally began!
Trust ...when a cab driver rescued me when I was lost in the outskirts of DC.
Fear ...when I was lost in DC and thought I was going to miss the after-party!
Surprise ...when I ran into Grandma, Leo, Robbi and Co. outside of The Old Ebbitt Grill.
Sadness ...when dinner was over on Saturday night.
Disgust ...when I saw a FOX News truck.
Anger ...when I was lost in DC and hadn't peed in like nine hours.
Anticipation ...another rally next year?!?!
Love,
Tara
Monday, October 25, 2010
e-HOOOOOLY Crap!
Monday, October 25, 2010
8:40 pm Make it stop!
Okay, I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but this e-Harm thing is out of control. Apparently I'm compatible with every man in the tri-state area AND THEY WON'T STOP TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME. NOW, I understand how e-Harm works -- it's a sheer numbers game! If they tell you you're compatible with 25 guys a day, you're bound to get along with someone. No one would reject that many men for days and days. I know what the evil people at e-Harm are thinking: Eventually she'll cave...
It's legitimately giving me anxiety (shocker). I wake up in the morning and I've got at least 10 new emails from e-Harm telling me about all the guys who have sent me five questions. This is the first step in the e-Harm "getting-to-know-you" process. If you find someone with a profile that's appealing (read: they have an attractive photo), you can choose five questions from a long list to send to that person. If that person isn't totally skeeved out by you, they respond and send their five questions. The list is of entirely multiple choice questions. Examples include "How often do you work out in a week?" to hypotheticals like "If you were in a relationship and your partner took you to a party where you knew no one, what would you do?" Answers to that one are like "I would stick close to my partner and let him/her introduce me" or "I would strike out on my own and meet people" or "I would ask to skip the party."
So, over the past few days everyone and their brother has been sending me the five question thing. At first I was hesitant, but at my mom's encouragement, I started to respond. At the very least, this whole thing has really made me think about how I am in a relationship and what is important to me in a "partner." God, I hate that word.
But of course, there are always the creepers. E-Harm gives you an option to skip all the normal communication steps and just go straight to emailing or chatting online. To do this, the interested party (the creeper) sends a note saying they want to initiate contact or whatever. Then the innocent party (me), has to accept or decline. If you accept, you have to first read a letter from e-Harm about online safety so these dudes can't find you and you don't end up in a ditch after being raped and murdered. Comforting, no?
So far two guys have sent me such requests and I think my intial reaction was to scream "Oh, HELL no!" and slam my computer shut. Then I called my mom.
My mom is a whole other part of this e-Harm experiment. She's way more interested in this than I am, so I gave her my sign-on so she can pre-screen my prospects. I see no problem with this. It's kind of like a throw-back to the olden days when parents would pick your suitors. She's definitely more lenient and forgiving than I am ("Mom, he's 23 and balding..."), but maybe I need a little more of that.
In conclusion, I'm sticking with the e-Harm experiment, even though it gives me anxiety, because I paid for it and it really does force me to think about what I'm really after. If the thought of signing on to my e-Harmony account really makes me nauseous, maybe that's a sign. Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship. Or maybe I'm just not ready to risk it with crazies online.
Only time will tell. I've got three and a half weeks to go...
Love,
Tara
8:40 pm Make it stop!
Okay, I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but this e-Harm thing is out of control. Apparently I'm compatible with every man in the tri-state area AND THEY WON'T STOP TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME. NOW, I understand how e-Harm works -- it's a sheer numbers game! If they tell you you're compatible with 25 guys a day, you're bound to get along with someone. No one would reject that many men for days and days. I know what the evil people at e-Harm are thinking: Eventually she'll cave...
It's legitimately giving me anxiety (shocker). I wake up in the morning and I've got at least 10 new emails from e-Harm telling me about all the guys who have sent me five questions. This is the first step in the e-Harm "getting-to-know-you" process. If you find someone with a profile that's appealing (read: they have an attractive photo), you can choose five questions from a long list to send to that person. If that person isn't totally skeeved out by you, they respond and send their five questions. The list is of entirely multiple choice questions. Examples include "How often do you work out in a week?" to hypotheticals like "If you were in a relationship and your partner took you to a party where you knew no one, what would you do?" Answers to that one are like "I would stick close to my partner and let him/her introduce me" or "I would strike out on my own and meet people" or "I would ask to skip the party."
So, over the past few days everyone and their brother has been sending me the five question thing. At first I was hesitant, but at my mom's encouragement, I started to respond. At the very least, this whole thing has really made me think about how I am in a relationship and what is important to me in a "partner." God, I hate that word.
But of course, there are always the creepers. E-Harm gives you an option to skip all the normal communication steps and just go straight to emailing or chatting online. To do this, the interested party (the creeper) sends a note saying they want to initiate contact or whatever. Then the innocent party (me), has to accept or decline. If you accept, you have to first read a letter from e-Harm about online safety so these dudes can't find you and you don't end up in a ditch after being raped and murdered. Comforting, no?
So far two guys have sent me such requests and I think my intial reaction was to scream "Oh, HELL no!" and slam my computer shut. Then I called my mom.
My mom is a whole other part of this e-Harm experiment. She's way more interested in this than I am, so I gave her my sign-on so she can pre-screen my prospects. I see no problem with this. It's kind of like a throw-back to the olden days when parents would pick your suitors. She's definitely more lenient and forgiving than I am ("Mom, he's 23 and balding..."), but maybe I need a little more of that.
In conclusion, I'm sticking with the e-Harm experiment, even though it gives me anxiety, because I paid for it and it really does force me to think about what I'm really after. If the thought of signing on to my e-Harmony account really makes me nauseous, maybe that's a sign. Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship. Or maybe I'm just not ready to risk it with crazies online.
Only time will tell. I've got three and a half weeks to go...
Love,
Tara
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Photo Not Approved.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
10:47 PM Judge for yourself.
Tonight I joined eHarmony.
No, but really, I did.
I came home from work, got half-way out of my work clothes (I was too tired to finish), climbed into bed, ate some chips for dinner, drank a beer and joined eHarmony.
It wasn't like there was an event that sparked my desire to join. I wish I could tell you some inspirational story about how a higher power spoke to me and I suddenly knew my destiny was with eHarm. It was more like I was lying on my bed in front of the tv, trying to balance my empty beer bottle on my stomach when I stopped, picked up the computer, and typed in eHarmony.com, for no reason at all.
I mean, I kind of surprised myself. Ever since moving to New York, I've fully embraced my single lifestyle. I haven't really even been dating much -- mostly just reading and not cleaning my room and only shaving my legs when they start to itch. I was single and SO not looking to mingle. Until today.
So, whatever. I join. They ask me a thousand questions and then they ask for money. When I got to the money page, I started to have doubts (a year for $20 a month? Did it really take that long?? How would I feel about this come say, July???), so I texted my wise friend Arianna to tell her what I was doing. I believe I likened the whole thing to jumping off of a cliff. So, of course, she didn't respond. But I knew she wouldn't respond because she has to get up for work every morning at 3:30 AM, and I knew she'd be asleep already. Thus, I took her lack of response as silent approval and powered on. It's good to have friends who support you.
But then I had more doubts, so I called my mom and she got super excited and started looking up eHarmony coupons online for me to use. Then she put my dad on the phone and he asked me if I was shopping for a boyfriend online. And this all happened after I had listed "friends and family" as two of the top three things I'm thankful for on my eHarm profile. Figures.
So, I just do it. One month. Whatever. $60 down the drain. I'm feeling weird about the whole thing, but then...wait! Seven matches. SEVEN MATCHES. The love of my life was less than seven clicks away! I immediately started clicking on the profiles of these "highly compatible" men.
Aaaaand it took about 3 seconds for me to dismiss them all.
Five out of the seven had names I could not pronounce and profiles with some very broken English. The two profiles I was able to read contained words like "free-spirited" and phrases like "I like spending time with babies." I'm not exaggerating.
So, I'm feeling a little disappointed, now out 60 bucks and being told I'm most compatible with what I'm pretty sure was a middle-aged illegal immigrant, when I get an email from eHarm. Another match, perhaps?! Lucky number 8??
No. The email from eHarm was to inform me that the photo I had selected for my profile was not approved based on their "rules regarding attire." READ: Tara, if you don't stop dressing like a slut, even WE won't be able to find you a good man.
Now this was really just too much to take, so I signed off, photo-less, and went to take a shower (read: drown myself).
It was in the shower, as I carefully shaved off a week of armpit hair growth (again, not exaggerating), that a quote came to mind, as they often do when I'm feeling pensive. The quote was from a sticker that my wise, currently-sleeping friend Arianna had once found, taken a photo of, and posted on Facebook. It reads like a song lyric, or a line from a contemporary poem, or, perhaps, the title of my future memoir:
There is no sex in the city.
Love,
Tara
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The Sound of Settling
Saturday, October 9, 2010
10:18 am Bah Bah!
After tonight's SNL, I will no longer be a page. Earlier this week I was offered a job, and I accepted, and I'm starting on Monday. So, as you can imagine, all of this news and change has come with about fifteen hundred different emotions that I'm dealing with. At first I wrote that last sentence as "...that I'm struggling to deal with," but then I went back and deleted it because I'm not struggling. I'm dealing. It's just weird.
First of all, I'm really happy. I'm excited about my new job. It's in a department I love, and this job gets me further along on a career path I really think I want to be on. There's a lot of opportunity to grow and gain experience and blah blah blah. And there are the added perks that I didn't really think of until after I had accepted -- not being a page means I get my weekends back! I get WHOLE weekends just...OFF! What do you people do with that kind of free time?? I can't even imagine it. And the pay! Obviously you shouldn't take a job solely for the money, but after eight and a half months of living in NYC on $10/hr, I can't even tell you just how much making more money will mean to me. Over the past few months my Excel budget has been in rough shape - lots of red and negative numbers - and it's really been stressing me out! My increased income will certainly improve my quality of life.
But OF COURSE I can't be totally happy. I wouldn't be me if I was completely, blissfully happy and at peace. Sooo, there are the mixed feelings. I'm going to miss being a page! Obviously I knew this would all come to an end eventually (within a year, for sure), but it's still sad. I feel like I'm graduating all over again - you work hard, knowing there's an inevitable ending, but when it happens it's still really weird and sad and disorienting. And then there's the finality of it all! Just typing that out I realize how ridiculous I sound - I'm 23 and starting a new job - there's pretty much nothing final about my situation...but it feels final. Like, this is it. This is your job. Forever. I realize that's ridiculous, but that feeling is still there no matter how many times I tell myself I'm being ridiculous. When you accept a new job or a new apartment or a new relationship, you're accepting the good AND the bad. There are things about my job and my apartment (have I mentioned this roach problem?) and my relationships that stress me out and drive me crazy. And I'm agreeing to deal with that for the forseeable future. And if, in the forseeable future, I get stressed out and frustrated at my job and my living situation and my relationships here, I have no one to blame but myself. Because by taking this job, I've agreed to DEAL with it.
This whole situation - the great feelings I have about succeeding in the page program and getting a job and having the wonderful experiences that I've had AND the sort of sad, mixed up feelings I have about leaving pagedom and going forward into the professional world makes me think of one of my favorite songs. (Has anyone else noticed that I associate a song with pretty much every situation in my life? Is this normal? Do other people do this?)
"The Sound of Settling" by Death Cab is in my top ten favorite songs of all time. And the thing I love the most about it, is it can be interpreted in two ways. When you listen to the song, you can choose to think of "settling" as giving up on the dream and lowering your standards and accepting the cards you were dealt. When you think of it that way, it's sort of a sad song. But you can also choose to think of "settling" as finding your place. Fitting in. Clicking. In fact, I think of the way an old house creaks and groans as it "settles" at night. I think of a line from 'Magnolia': This happens. This is something that happens. When you think of it that way, it's sort of a happy song.
Listen for yourself and decide. Is it happy or sad? I think it's kind of up to you.
Then again, I think maybe that's the way life works too.
Love,
Tara
10:18 am Bah Bah!
After tonight's SNL, I will no longer be a page. Earlier this week I was offered a job, and I accepted, and I'm starting on Monday. So, as you can imagine, all of this news and change has come with about fifteen hundred different emotions that I'm dealing with. At first I wrote that last sentence as "...that I'm struggling to deal with," but then I went back and deleted it because I'm not struggling. I'm dealing. It's just weird.
First of all, I'm really happy. I'm excited about my new job. It's in a department I love, and this job gets me further along on a career path I really think I want to be on. There's a lot of opportunity to grow and gain experience and blah blah blah. And there are the added perks that I didn't really think of until after I had accepted -- not being a page means I get my weekends back! I get WHOLE weekends just...OFF! What do you people do with that kind of free time?? I can't even imagine it. And the pay! Obviously you shouldn't take a job solely for the money, but after eight and a half months of living in NYC on $10/hr, I can't even tell you just how much making more money will mean to me. Over the past few months my Excel budget has been in rough shape - lots of red and negative numbers - and it's really been stressing me out! My increased income will certainly improve my quality of life.
But OF COURSE I can't be totally happy. I wouldn't be me if I was completely, blissfully happy and at peace. Sooo, there are the mixed feelings. I'm going to miss being a page! Obviously I knew this would all come to an end eventually (within a year, for sure), but it's still sad. I feel like I'm graduating all over again - you work hard, knowing there's an inevitable ending, but when it happens it's still really weird and sad and disorienting. And then there's the finality of it all! Just typing that out I realize how ridiculous I sound - I'm 23 and starting a new job - there's pretty much nothing final about my situation...but it feels final. Like, this is it. This is your job. Forever. I realize that's ridiculous, but that feeling is still there no matter how many times I tell myself I'm being ridiculous. When you accept a new job or a new apartment or a new relationship, you're accepting the good AND the bad. There are things about my job and my apartment (have I mentioned this roach problem?) and my relationships that stress me out and drive me crazy. And I'm agreeing to deal with that for the forseeable future. And if, in the forseeable future, I get stressed out and frustrated at my job and my living situation and my relationships here, I have no one to blame but myself. Because by taking this job, I've agreed to DEAL with it.
This whole situation - the great feelings I have about succeeding in the page program and getting a job and having the wonderful experiences that I've had AND the sort of sad, mixed up feelings I have about leaving pagedom and going forward into the professional world makes me think of one of my favorite songs. (Has anyone else noticed that I associate a song with pretty much every situation in my life? Is this normal? Do other people do this?)
"The Sound of Settling" by Death Cab is in my top ten favorite songs of all time. And the thing I love the most about it, is it can be interpreted in two ways. When you listen to the song, you can choose to think of "settling" as giving up on the dream and lowering your standards and accepting the cards you were dealt. When you think of it that way, it's sort of a sad song. But you can also choose to think of "settling" as finding your place. Fitting in. Clicking. In fact, I think of the way an old house creaks and groans as it "settles" at night. I think of a line from 'Magnolia': This happens. This is something that happens. When you think of it that way, it's sort of a happy song.
Listen for yourself and decide. Is it happy or sad? I think it's kind of up to you.
Then again, I think maybe that's the way life works too.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Forever Young.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
5:18 PM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1nbvplgElw
Last night was the season premiere of SNL, and it was one of the most unforgettable experiences of my life. I was on assignment backstage, meaning I was literally in the midst of all the craziness, and in-studio for the actual show. It was truly incredible and something I will never forget.
But I'll also never forget the way it felt to dance for hours and hours at the after, after party with my friends. Or the way I laughed so hard it hurt again and again. Or the heat of all of us on the dance floor. Or the spinning of the flashing lights. Or the way it felt to push open the doors of the UCB and step outside into daylight at 7 in the morning. This picture captures a few moments later - after we had stepped, bleary-eyed and disoriented, into the new day. It was the moment after we had all looked at each other and burst out laughing at the incredibility of it all - at the luck of our lives. We are young and happy and excited. We have shared unique experiences that few others will ever fully understand.
This picture captures us basking in the light of our youth. I hope we never forget what it feels like to be so full of possibility.
Love,
Tara
5:18 PM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1nbvplgElw
But I'll also never forget the way it felt to dance for hours and hours at the after, after party with my friends. Or the way I laughed so hard it hurt again and again. Or the heat of all of us on the dance floor. Or the spinning of the flashing lights. Or the way it felt to push open the doors of the UCB and step outside into daylight at 7 in the morning. This picture captures a few moments later - after we had stepped, bleary-eyed and disoriented, into the new day. It was the moment after we had all looked at each other and burst out laughing at the incredibility of it all - at the luck of our lives. We are young and happy and excited. We have shared unique experiences that few others will ever fully understand.
This picture captures us basking in the light of our youth. I hope we never forget what it feels like to be so full of possibility.
Love,
Tara
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Hello, New Theme Song
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
9:33 PM Exactly.
I believe that the world should revolve around me.
Love,
T
9:33 PM Exactly.
I believe that the world should revolve around me.
Love,
T
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Parasailing
Sunday, September 12, 2010
9:00 PM Writing exercise.
Once we had completely ascended into the air, our feet kicking freely, we shared a comfortable silence, breathing in the humid air and looking down on the world.
“I was thinking,” she began, not quite looking at me, “that while we’re up here you should just yell out everything you hate about him. Just, like, get it all out up here where no one can hear you.”
The idea kind of shocked me. I’d been wanting to cry all day and found it especially hard to hold back my tears now. I coughed uncomfortably as a giant, painful lump formed in my throat.
“I don’t know,” I said, shakily. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Okay,” she shrugged, now looking at me. “You don’t have to say anything.”
I wanted to yell, but I didn’t want to cry in front of her. I didn’t want to spend these precious few moments I had flying above Hawaii with my sister thinking about him. I didn’t want yet another moment of my life to be about him.
I must have thought about this longer than I realized, because suddenly there was a jerk on the rope and I felt us being pulled lower towards the boat.
Now I really wanted to cry, realizing I’d spent all that time in the air thinking about not thinking about him. But I surprised myself and did what felt completely unnatural - I laughed.
It sounded strange – a forced, wheezy exhalation. A croak. It reminded me of the sounds I used to make after an asthma attack.
But I did it again. And again. And again, until it sounded like real laughter. Soon, I was smiling and giggling uncontrollably, kicking my legs as I was reeled into safety, my sister beside me, watching and laughing too.
Love,
Tara
9:00 PM Writing exercise.
Once we had completely ascended into the air, our feet kicking freely, we shared a comfortable silence, breathing in the humid air and looking down on the world.
“I was thinking,” she began, not quite looking at me, “that while we’re up here you should just yell out everything you hate about him. Just, like, get it all out up here where no one can hear you.”
The idea kind of shocked me. I’d been wanting to cry all day and found it especially hard to hold back my tears now. I coughed uncomfortably as a giant, painful lump formed in my throat.
“I don’t know,” I said, shakily. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Okay,” she shrugged, now looking at me. “You don’t have to say anything.”
I wanted to yell, but I didn’t want to cry in front of her. I didn’t want to spend these precious few moments I had flying above Hawaii with my sister thinking about him. I didn’t want yet another moment of my life to be about him.
I must have thought about this longer than I realized, because suddenly there was a jerk on the rope and I felt us being pulled lower towards the boat.
Now I really wanted to cry, realizing I’d spent all that time in the air thinking about not thinking about him. But I surprised myself and did what felt completely unnatural - I laughed.
It sounded strange – a forced, wheezy exhalation. A croak. It reminded me of the sounds I used to make after an asthma attack.
But I did it again. And again. And again, until it sounded like real laughter. Soon, I was smiling and giggling uncontrollably, kicking my legs as I was reeled into safety, my sister beside me, watching and laughing too.
Love,
Tara
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
A Day, er, Night in the Life
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
8:46 pm Hmmm...
I'm at a loss for words... so I'm going to tell you about my day. I'm making a concerted effort to start writing again, but at the end of a long, stressful day at work it's pretty much the last thing in the world I feel like doing. That and going to the gym. And I'm already not going to the gym, so I feel like I should accomplish something today... even if my current mental state (tired, cranky) is not one that fosters creativity.
You sure you want to keep reading?
Okay, so today I woke up to the chimes of my cell phone alarm clock at 6:30, drenched in sweat. I was drenched in sweat because I had decided to go the night without using my air conditioner. Labor Day has passed, my electricity bills have been rather high, and it was supposed to drop down to around 78 degrees...Who needs an air conditioner when all I need to do is crack a window? I thought to myself.
I do. Me. This girl needs an air conditioner.
Anyone who has been to my apartment (all 5 of you) will tell you that my apartment is always a good fifteen degrees warmer than it is outside. The reason behind this isn't clear, but it's GREAT in the winter -- always toasty warm. It becomes more of an issue in the summer. And it became more of an issue last night as I lay in bed, willing the cool 78 degree breeze from outside to rush through my open window and over me...
But alas, nothing.
I was determined, though. In the middle of the night, somehow, through my heat-induced delirium I remembered...I had a fan somewhere! That would do the trick! Sweating and swearing I stumbled out of bed and fumbled around in the darkness until I found it. That sweet black Honeywell was too good to be true!
Indeed.
I plugged it in, angled it toward me, and fell onto my bed, ready for sleep. But fans just push around air. And if there's only hot air, they just push around hot air. That's just good science. And, in addition to not helping, all that hot air moving was blowing my hair around until it got stuck in the sweat dripping down my face and neck. Lovely.
So, now it's early, early morning and in-between falling in and out of consciousness (I'm not sure if I slept or got dehydrated and passed out) I tie my hair on top of my head and try to sleep that way. But then I've got all these wispys that are flying around my head and getting stuck in my sweat and then breaking loose and getting stuck again, so yet again I'm stumbling around my room, now blindly jabbing bobby pins into my head. Eventually I give up and wrap a blanket around my head like a turban. I'll give you a moment to ponder that visual.
And I did all of this until 6:30 this morning when my cell phone alarm clock began to chime and I thought to myself, Why, God? Why?
And, instead of the usual silence, a voice (and again, this may have been a symptom of the delirium), laughed and said, Dude, you did that to yourself.
And as I sit here, in my room with my air conditioning on, it occurs to me that last night probably says a lot about me.
I am reminded of a saying:
Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?
Because it feels so good when I stop.
Love,
Tara
8:46 pm Hmmm...
I'm at a loss for words... so I'm going to tell you about my day. I'm making a concerted effort to start writing again, but at the end of a long, stressful day at work it's pretty much the last thing in the world I feel like doing. That and going to the gym. And I'm already not going to the gym, so I feel like I should accomplish something today... even if my current mental state (tired, cranky) is not one that fosters creativity.
You sure you want to keep reading?
Okay, so today I woke up to the chimes of my cell phone alarm clock at 6:30, drenched in sweat. I was drenched in sweat because I had decided to go the night without using my air conditioner. Labor Day has passed, my electricity bills have been rather high, and it was supposed to drop down to around 78 degrees...Who needs an air conditioner when all I need to do is crack a window? I thought to myself.
I do. Me. This girl needs an air conditioner.
Anyone who has been to my apartment (all 5 of you) will tell you that my apartment is always a good fifteen degrees warmer than it is outside. The reason behind this isn't clear, but it's GREAT in the winter -- always toasty warm. It becomes more of an issue in the summer. And it became more of an issue last night as I lay in bed, willing the cool 78 degree breeze from outside to rush through my open window and over me...
But alas, nothing.
I was determined, though. In the middle of the night, somehow, through my heat-induced delirium I remembered...I had a fan somewhere! That would do the trick! Sweating and swearing I stumbled out of bed and fumbled around in the darkness until I found it. That sweet black Honeywell was too good to be true!
Indeed.
I plugged it in, angled it toward me, and fell onto my bed, ready for sleep. But fans just push around air. And if there's only hot air, they just push around hot air. That's just good science. And, in addition to not helping, all that hot air moving was blowing my hair around until it got stuck in the sweat dripping down my face and neck. Lovely.
So, now it's early, early morning and in-between falling in and out of consciousness (I'm not sure if I slept or got dehydrated and passed out) I tie my hair on top of my head and try to sleep that way. But then I've got all these wispys that are flying around my head and getting stuck in my sweat and then breaking loose and getting stuck again, so yet again I'm stumbling around my room, now blindly jabbing bobby pins into my head. Eventually I give up and wrap a blanket around my head like a turban. I'll give you a moment to ponder that visual.
And I did all of this until 6:30 this morning when my cell phone alarm clock began to chime and I thought to myself, Why, God? Why?
And, instead of the usual silence, a voice (and again, this may have been a symptom of the delirium), laughed and said, Dude, you did that to yourself.
And as I sit here, in my room with my air conditioning on, it occurs to me that last night probably says a lot about me.
I am reminded of a saying:
Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?
Because it feels so good when I stop.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, September 5, 2010
I Won't Grow Up!
Sunday, Sept. 5, 2010
9:51 AM 'Cause growing up is awfuller than all the awful things there ever were!
I'm messing up the lyrics to some 'Peter Pan' song because THIS is how I feel right now. Not unlike a wave that almost killed me that one time in Hawaii, I feel like Adulthood has knocked me over, dunked me underwater, tossed me around and left me crawling on the ground and gasping for air.
As I sit here typing this post in my big sunny kitchen in G while sipping on a glass of orange juice I did not pay for, I realize this may be an exaggeration, but seriously... I feel like I've been struck with/surrounded by a lot of "Adult" problems lately. I gots issues.
First of all, Kaitlyn is in college now. Not really my issue; more of a "my baby sister is growing up" sort of thing, but I'm having a surprisingly hard time watching her go through it all. I worry about her ALL THE TIME. She was at a party last night, and I had to resist the urge to text her to make sure she had her hand over her drink and that she wasn't going to walk home alone. During the week, I text her constantly to make sure she's eaten or that she got to class on time or just to make sure she's okay. Her first week of college has brought back all these traumatic freshman year memories for me and as a result I'm becoming a HELICOPTER PARENT. The whole family went to visit her yesterday, and as we were going to leave I wanted to yell, "Okay, I think we've all gone along with 'playing college' long enough. It's time to take her home for her nap." I have half a mind to go to grad school at UCONN just so I can be close by if she needs me. I'm not kidding.
So, basically I've decided I'm suffering from empty-nest syndrome, which is a very Adult (albeit CRAZY) problem to have. That's issue number one. The rest of the issues don't require a whole lot of explanation, so I'm just going to lay them out there: my electricity may be shut off September 10, I have a collection agency leaving voicemails on my cell phone, one of my friends just found out she's pregnant and another friend just found out a close family member has cancer.
...
Okay, maybe some of those require some explanation. The electricity being shut off is related to a meter issue that involves my landlord and the electricity company, but nonetheless, we (me and my roommate) somehow owe money we didn't know we owed and are now delinquent, blah, blah blah, they're threatening to shut off our power. Fantastic.
The calls from the collection agency I ignored for days because I thought it was some kind of scam until I looked up the phone number and realized it was, in fact, a collection agency. I went to the emergency room back in January and never received a bill. My guess is that's what they're calling about, but it's super annoying because, once again, I NEVER RECEIVED A BILL and I wasn't asked to pay at the time and I'm afraid this is screwing up my credit. I don't even KNOW what credit IS, but I KNOW it needs to be GOOD. FML.
And the other two issues I'm not going to explain because they're pretty terrifyingly obvious.
All of this is really starting to stress me out so, for the rest of this holiday weekend, I'm taking a break from Adulthood. And now I'm going to go shower in my childhood bathroom and get dressed in my childhood bedroom and let my mom take me and Steph shopping. And later, I'm going to go have dinner at my grandma's and then go see some of my old, high school friends.
I want a break!
Clearly, I'm too young to grow up.
Love,
Tara
9:51 AM 'Cause growing up is awfuller than all the awful things there ever were!
I'm messing up the lyrics to some 'Peter Pan' song because THIS is how I feel right now. Not unlike a wave that almost killed me that one time in Hawaii, I feel like Adulthood has knocked me over, dunked me underwater, tossed me around and left me crawling on the ground and gasping for air.
As I sit here typing this post in my big sunny kitchen in G while sipping on a glass of orange juice I did not pay for, I realize this may be an exaggeration, but seriously... I feel like I've been struck with/surrounded by a lot of "Adult" problems lately. I gots issues.
First of all, Kaitlyn is in college now. Not really my issue; more of a "my baby sister is growing up" sort of thing, but I'm having a surprisingly hard time watching her go through it all. I worry about her ALL THE TIME. She was at a party last night, and I had to resist the urge to text her to make sure she had her hand over her drink and that she wasn't going to walk home alone. During the week, I text her constantly to make sure she's eaten or that she got to class on time or just to make sure she's okay. Her first week of college has brought back all these traumatic freshman year memories for me and as a result I'm becoming a HELICOPTER PARENT. The whole family went to visit her yesterday, and as we were going to leave I wanted to yell, "Okay, I think we've all gone along with 'playing college' long enough. It's time to take her home for her nap." I have half a mind to go to grad school at UCONN just so I can be close by if she needs me. I'm not kidding.
So, basically I've decided I'm suffering from empty-nest syndrome, which is a very Adult (albeit CRAZY) problem to have. That's issue number one. The rest of the issues don't require a whole lot of explanation, so I'm just going to lay them out there: my electricity may be shut off September 10, I have a collection agency leaving voicemails on my cell phone, one of my friends just found out she's pregnant and another friend just found out a close family member has cancer.
...
Okay, maybe some of those require some explanation. The electricity being shut off is related to a meter issue that involves my landlord and the electricity company, but nonetheless, we (me and my roommate) somehow owe money we didn't know we owed and are now delinquent, blah, blah blah, they're threatening to shut off our power. Fantastic.
The calls from the collection agency I ignored for days because I thought it was some kind of scam until I looked up the phone number and realized it was, in fact, a collection agency. I went to the emergency room back in January and never received a bill. My guess is that's what they're calling about, but it's super annoying because, once again, I NEVER RECEIVED A BILL and I wasn't asked to pay at the time and I'm afraid this is screwing up my credit. I don't even KNOW what credit IS, but I KNOW it needs to be GOOD. FML.
And the other two issues I'm not going to explain because they're pretty terrifyingly obvious.
All of this is really starting to stress me out so, for the rest of this holiday weekend, I'm taking a break from Adulthood. And now I'm going to go shower in my childhood bathroom and get dressed in my childhood bedroom and let my mom take me and Steph shopping. And later, I'm going to go have dinner at my grandma's and then go see some of my old, high school friends.
I want a break!
Clearly, I'm too young to grow up.
Love,
Tara
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Conversations with My Sister
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
11:34 PM Home is wherever I'm with you.
via BBM (that's Blackberry Messenger for the slow and/or old):
T: I want to love that Edward Sharpe song. I almost put it on the mix I made you. But I hate the part in the middle when they talk about her jumping out the window and bleeding everywhere. It ruins it for me.
T: Maybe I'm not hipster enough
K: Hahahah I think it's cute when he says he was falling in love with her! It's okay though. Being hipster isn't that fun. You have to act like you don't care all the time.
K: And ya know what?! Sometimes I do!
T: Hahaha you are wise beyond your years Little Gman
K: Thank you...Big Gman.
Love,
Tara
11:34 PM Home is wherever I'm with you.
via BBM (that's Blackberry Messenger for the slow and/or old):
T: I want to love that Edward Sharpe song. I almost put it on the mix I made you. But I hate the part in the middle when they talk about her jumping out the window and bleeding everywhere. It ruins it for me.
T: Maybe I'm not hipster enough
K: Hahahah I think it's cute when he says he was falling in love with her! It's okay though. Being hipster isn't that fun. You have to act like you don't care all the time.
K: And ya know what?! Sometimes I do!
T: Hahaha you are wise beyond your years Little Gman
K: Thank you...Big Gman.
Love,
Tara
Monday, August 23, 2010
What is it about us?
Monday, August 23, 2010
9:33 PM Must read.
In case you haven't seen it yet, there was a really interesting piece on "twenty-somethings" in the New York Times' Magazine last weekend. It's pretty long, but I gotta say... I feel like it explained a lot. It made me feel better!
Let me know what you think...
Love,
Tara
9:33 PM Must read.
In case you haven't seen it yet, there was a really interesting piece on "twenty-somethings" in the New York Times' Magazine last weekend. It's pretty long, but I gotta say... I feel like it explained a lot. It made me feel better!
Let me know what you think...
Love,
Tara
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Enough Said.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
8:19 PM Whoa.
"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism." - Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Love,
Tara
8:19 PM Whoa.
"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism." - Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Love,
Tara
Friday, August 13, 2010
"Happiness hit her like a train on a track."
Friday, August 13, 2010
11:58 AM Oh, I am inspired!
You MUST listen to this song (below). My friend Eliz sent it to me, and it's literally all I have listened to for the past two days. Coincidentally (or maybe not so coincidentally) it is featured in the trailer for "Eat, Pray, Love," which came out today. I'm still not finished with the book, but I cannot wait to see it.
Anyway, the first time I listened to the song was yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work. I was only half paying attention to it as I had overslept and was busy rushing around, but I liked it well enough. It wasn't until later that morning that I loved it. I was walking to work, listening to the song on my Ipod and trying to shift all of the gear I was carrying (purse, gym bag, phone, Ipod), when my hand accidentally hit the volume on my Ipod. Suddenly the song was absolutely blasting in my ears. It was so loud it actually took my breath away. But as I stood there, fumbling with my Ipod to bring the volume back to a normal level, I actually listened to the lyrics.
Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive
I got chills. I love the idea of running as fast as you can for happiness and the life that you want and I love the idea that you should do it for the people in your life who want you to be happy. Yes, you should strive for happiness for you, but I think sometimes it's easy for us to push our own pursuit for happiness aside, like it's not important. Here, the singer is reminding us that if you can't do it for yourself, do it for all the people in the world who want you to be happy. What's that saying? The greatest gift you can give another person is your happiness. I love that. And don't walk. Run.
And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too
Here, I imagine she's speaking to the universe or her life. She's not asking for anything, but she wants everything. I relate this back to my whole "demanding more from the universe" thing. She doesn't have to demand anything -- I think it's all right there for her to take.
And the drums! Oh, I love the drums. I play this song in my room and I dance around and I bang on the walls and my desk and my dresser. Towards the end the drums have this whole tribal, earthly sound to them that I love. I can't even explain how great it feels to listen to this song and just bang on things.
And when you think the song is over, it's not! I know I sound like a lunatic, but I just love this song on all its levels because it's exactly how I feel right now. Sometimes these days I'm so happy, it's all I can do not to burst out laughing in the middle of the street. For a long time I lived my life waiting for the next thing to happen. I would think, Okay, well I'm going to be happy after this really stressful week is over. Or, I'll finally be happy when I get a job...I'll finally be happy when I have a day off...I'll finally be happy when I make more money. And I realized a while ago that you can't keep waiting for that thing to happen because A.) when you focus all your attention on the one thing you don't have, it's a sure way to be unhappy and B.) THERE'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE ANOTHER THING. The key, I think, is to make this moment as good as you possibly can. You have to live in the now. Napoleon Hill said, "Don't wait. The time will never be just right." Can I get an amen?
Now, like most things, this is all easier said than done, but once it clicks it just clicks. In the past, when I would get really happy over something, I would panic and kind of cling to it. I didn't want that wonderful feeling to go away. But, I realized, that clinging and panicking is a great way to ruin your happiness. I realize this is a completely hippie-dippy thing to say, but I'm going to say it anyway -- I am my own happiness. The happier I get, the more happiness comes. Beauty attracts beauty and all that. It's never-ending... kind of like this song seems. Just when you think it might be over, it's not.
Somebody bring me a drum.
Love,
Tara
11:58 AM Oh, I am inspired!
You MUST listen to this song (below). My friend Eliz sent it to me, and it's literally all I have listened to for the past two days. Coincidentally (or maybe not so coincidentally) it is featured in the trailer for "Eat, Pray, Love," which came out today. I'm still not finished with the book, but I cannot wait to see it.
Anyway, the first time I listened to the song was yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work. I was only half paying attention to it as I had overslept and was busy rushing around, but I liked it well enough. It wasn't until later that morning that I loved it. I was walking to work, listening to the song on my Ipod and trying to shift all of the gear I was carrying (purse, gym bag, phone, Ipod), when my hand accidentally hit the volume on my Ipod. Suddenly the song was absolutely blasting in my ears. It was so loud it actually took my breath away. But as I stood there, fumbling with my Ipod to bring the volume back to a normal level, I actually listened to the lyrics.
Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive
I got chills. I love the idea of running as fast as you can for happiness and the life that you want and I love the idea that you should do it for the people in your life who want you to be happy. Yes, you should strive for happiness for you, but I think sometimes it's easy for us to push our own pursuit for happiness aside, like it's not important. Here, the singer is reminding us that if you can't do it for yourself, do it for all the people in the world who want you to be happy. What's that saying? The greatest gift you can give another person is your happiness. I love that. And don't walk. Run.
And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too
Here, I imagine she's speaking to the universe or her life. She's not asking for anything, but she wants everything. I relate this back to my whole "demanding more from the universe" thing. She doesn't have to demand anything -- I think it's all right there for her to take.
And the drums! Oh, I love the drums. I play this song in my room and I dance around and I bang on the walls and my desk and my dresser. Towards the end the drums have this whole tribal, earthly sound to them that I love. I can't even explain how great it feels to listen to this song and just bang on things.
And when you think the song is over, it's not! I know I sound like a lunatic, but I just love this song on all its levels because it's exactly how I feel right now. Sometimes these days I'm so happy, it's all I can do not to burst out laughing in the middle of the street. For a long time I lived my life waiting for the next thing to happen. I would think, Okay, well I'm going to be happy after this really stressful week is over. Or, I'll finally be happy when I get a job...I'll finally be happy when I have a day off...I'll finally be happy when I make more money. And I realized a while ago that you can't keep waiting for that thing to happen because A.) when you focus all your attention on the one thing you don't have, it's a sure way to be unhappy and B.) THERE'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE ANOTHER THING. The key, I think, is to make this moment as good as you possibly can. You have to live in the now. Napoleon Hill said, "Don't wait. The time will never be just right." Can I get an amen?
Now, like most things, this is all easier said than done, but once it clicks it just clicks. In the past, when I would get really happy over something, I would panic and kind of cling to it. I didn't want that wonderful feeling to go away. But, I realized, that clinging and panicking is a great way to ruin your happiness. I realize this is a completely hippie-dippy thing to say, but I'm going to say it anyway -- I am my own happiness. The happier I get, the more happiness comes. Beauty attracts beauty and all that. It's never-ending... kind of like this song seems. Just when you think it might be over, it's not.
Somebody bring me a drum.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Untitled
Sunday, August 8, 2010
8:50 PM Eat, Pray, Love... Write
I'm reading 'Eat, Pray, Love" and it's making me want to write again. Not that I haven't wanted to write these past few months, it's just that I haven't been doing it. I'm not sure what happened, but all of a sudden I got super self-conscious about my writing. I would feel inspired to write about something, and almost immediately my inner-critic would say, No, that's dumb. So I stopped. But I still wanted to write.
Desperate for an idea my inner-critic wouldn't automatically reject, I read back over things I'd already written, something I often do when I'm in need of inspiration. What I found were the mundane - often whiny - self-concerned tales of a 20-something-year-old girl.
God, you sound so annoying. Who would want to read this? the inner critic asked.
So, I stopped. And I was lying, to you and myself, when I said I had writer's block because I didn't. I've been inspired every single day. It's just that I stopped, and I didn't know how to start again.
I think part of growing up is accepting , no, embracing your insecurities. A fairly frequent complaint I've heard from friends who have read "Eat, Pray, Love" is that, while they enjoyed her conversational way of writing, she came across as a little self-centered. It was all a bit self-indulgent. Sometimes I wonder if I come across the same way when I write.
But, you see, I don't think she comes across as self-centered or selfish or self-indulgent at all. It's a book about a time in her life -- how could she not talk about herself the whole time? She tells you it's about a personal journey of hers from the very beginning. As readers, we knew what we were getting into when we picked it up.
Anyway, this is a blog about a time in my life. And while I publish what I write to the Internet, I don't write for other people. I write for myself and I publish it because I like to communicate - I think it's nice when other people can relate. And so I'm embracing the fact that it all may come across as a little self-indulgent.
I was reading "Eat" on the train back to New York today and was inspired to write a poem about my non-writer's block... yes, I wanted to write about not writing. It does not rhyme. There is no rhythm to it. I'm not even sure it qualifies as a poem. And I was going to apologize for all of this when I realized I have to stop apologizing for things that I haven't done wrong.
My inner-critic can suck it.
Untitled
It seems the only thing I remember how to write
are to-do lists.
Ordered, numbered, never complete -
A reminder of all the things I have failed to accomplish,
so I never get too pleased with myself...
or at all.
Instead, I have dreams that I'm throwing up
but nothing will come out.
It gets stuck.
I wish I'd give myself a break.
Love,
Tara
8:50 PM Eat, Pray, Love... Write
I'm reading 'Eat, Pray, Love" and it's making me want to write again. Not that I haven't wanted to write these past few months, it's just that I haven't been doing it. I'm not sure what happened, but all of a sudden I got super self-conscious about my writing. I would feel inspired to write about something, and almost immediately my inner-critic would say, No, that's dumb. So I stopped. But I still wanted to write.
Desperate for an idea my inner-critic wouldn't automatically reject, I read back over things I'd already written, something I often do when I'm in need of inspiration. What I found were the mundane - often whiny - self-concerned tales of a 20-something-year-old girl.
God, you sound so annoying. Who would want to read this? the inner critic asked.
So, I stopped. And I was lying, to you and myself, when I said I had writer's block because I didn't. I've been inspired every single day. It's just that I stopped, and I didn't know how to start again.
I think part of growing up is accepting , no, embracing your insecurities. A fairly frequent complaint I've heard from friends who have read "Eat, Pray, Love" is that, while they enjoyed her conversational way of writing, she came across as a little self-centered. It was all a bit self-indulgent. Sometimes I wonder if I come across the same way when I write.
But, you see, I don't think she comes across as self-centered or selfish or self-indulgent at all. It's a book about a time in her life -- how could she not talk about herself the whole time? She tells you it's about a personal journey of hers from the very beginning. As readers, we knew what we were getting into when we picked it up.
Anyway, this is a blog about a time in my life. And while I publish what I write to the Internet, I don't write for other people. I write for myself and I publish it because I like to communicate - I think it's nice when other people can relate. And so I'm embracing the fact that it all may come across as a little self-indulgent.
I was reading "Eat" on the train back to New York today and was inspired to write a poem about my non-writer's block... yes, I wanted to write about not writing. It does not rhyme. There is no rhythm to it. I'm not even sure it qualifies as a poem. And I was going to apologize for all of this when I realized I have to stop apologizing for things that I haven't done wrong.
My inner-critic can suck it.
Untitled
It seems the only thing I remember how to write
are to-do lists.
Ordered, numbered, never complete -
A reminder of all the things I have failed to accomplish,
so I never get too pleased with myself...
or at all.
Instead, I have dreams that I'm throwing up
but nothing will come out.
It gets stuck.
I wish I'd give myself a break.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Conversations with Men
Sunday, August 1, 2010
4:59 PM Hilarious.
Saturday night in a random bar in NYC.
Guy: You know, you look like the girl from 'House.'
Tara: Oh, I don't watch 'House.' Who is she?
Guy: I forget the name of the actress, but they call her 'Thirteen' on the show.
Tara: Well, is she pretty? Is this a compliment?
Guy: Oh, yeah, she's really pretty.
The Guy is about to turn away when he pauses, looking at Tara thoughtfully.
Guy: She's also a lesbian.
Love,
Tara
4:59 PM Hilarious.
Saturday night in a random bar in NYC.
Guy: You know, you look like the girl from 'House.'
Tara: Oh, I don't watch 'House.' Who is she?
Guy: I forget the name of the actress, but they call her 'Thirteen' on the show.
Tara: Well, is she pretty? Is this a compliment?
Guy: Oh, yeah, she's really pretty.
The Guy is about to turn away when he pauses, looking at Tara thoughtfully.
Guy: She's also a lesbian.
Love,
Tara
Monday, July 19, 2010
Conversations with My Mother
Monday, July 19, 2010
8:48 PM Vacation, all I ever wanteeedddd....
It's a sunny morning in Stone Harbor. Tara is sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast while the rest of the family gets ready to go to the beach.
Mom: Don't flirt with the boys next door while we're gone.
Tara: (not looking up) Oh, don't you worry about me.
Mom: Well, we know they have alcohol, so I didn't know if you'd suddenly find yourself being pulled in that direction.
Love,
Tara
8:48 PM Vacation, all I ever wanteeedddd....
It's a sunny morning in Stone Harbor. Tara is sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast while the rest of the family gets ready to go to the beach.
Mom: Don't flirt with the boys next door while we're gone.
Tara: (not looking up) Oh, don't you worry about me.
Mom: Well, we know they have alcohol, so I didn't know if you'd suddenly find yourself being pulled in that direction.
Love,
Tara
Monday, July 5, 2010
Stream of Consciousness
Monday, July 5, 2010
7:39 PM Happy 5th of July!
I wrote the below blog post last night, but then I didn't post it because I thought it was kind of personal and would probably read like the rantings and ramblings of a crazy woman.
But now I'm posting it anyway.
Cheers!
T
Sunday, July 4, 2010
11:26 PM
I’m sick. Not like hungover-sick. Like sore-throat-runny-nose-body-aches-kind-of-sick. And I’ve been in bed all day, resting (i.e. watching ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and crying into bits of toilet paper). And it’s okay. It’s okay that I’m sick on the 4th of July, and I’ve been in bed crying and wiping away tears and my runny nose all day because I’ve had a revelation.
Now, I don’t know if it was the ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ or the lying in bed with nothing to do all day or the meds or the tequila I had last night (okay, maybe I am a little hungover-sick), but suddenly I have a very clear picture of what I can and cannot control.
This revelation is multi-layered, so bear with me. I think because my life was so out of control from March to the beginning of June because of work, I got used to feeling like I couldn’t control anything. So I just kind of gave up. Which in itself can seem kind of freeing because when you don’t have control over anything, you can’t be responsible for anything either. You can’t be mad or disappointed with yourself, really, because nothing is your fault – it’s all out of your control.
I’m still piecing this all together in my head, but it’s like this: I’m a talker. Or I was a talker. I always say I’m going to do things - that I know what I want. I make lists of all the things I need to do, and I vow that, eventually, I will do them. But saying you’re going to do something or be some way is very different from actually doing it or being that way. Which may seem like common sense, but that very basic lesson slipped away from me.
I kind of hate that the best example I can think of to explain all of this involves an ex-boyfriend, but it’s all I’ve got, so here it is: For a long time I wanted to get over this guy, and I just couldn’t do it. I told myself and everyone that I wanted to be over it, and I would get so frustrated with myself because, no matter what, for the longest time, I just wasn’t over it. And eventually I got to the point where I said to myself, “Okay, you’re not over it. I don’t know why, but you’re not ready to be over it. And when you truly want to be over it you will be.” And I was right. Because when I truly wanted to be over it with every fiber of my being, I was ready. And then I was over it. Just like that.
It sounds simple, but you can say you want something, and it can make perfect sense to want that thing, but saying you want it and actually wanting it are different. And it’s frustrating because, using the example from above, of course I should have wanted to be over the guy. Who wants to be hurting and hung up on a guy for years? But there was a part of me, the part that doesn’t listen to reason, that wasn’t ready to let it go until it was ready to let it go. You know?
And this applies to, well, everything, but I’m going to use another guy-related example. Because a few days ago I was on the phone with my mom, whining about guys (part of the revelation involves NOT complaining, by the way), and I said something like, “I want to be with the guy who thinks I’m so incredible that he gets over all his issues and insecurities to be with me because he just can’t not be with me.” And my mom, in her infinite wisdom, told me I already had that guy. In fact, I was dating him just a couple months ago, and I didn’t want him. And I got annoyed with her because, well, that was different. He was too into me. I needed more space than that. And my mom said, “Then you don’t want the thing that you say you want.”
And she was right.
Because I had that guy and I didn’t want him. And it makes complete sense to want to be in love. To want to be with the guy who’ll drop everything for you. But I don’t want that, and I’m not sure why. But the beauty of it is… that’s okay! I was thinking, at first, that it means there’s something wrong with me that I don’t want that. But I don’t think there is. I think maybe I’m just not ready to want that. Maybe I’m too immature. Or maybe it’s been so long since I’ve been in a relationship that I don’t know how to be in one. Or maybe because the only serious relationship I’ve ever had was so painful and twisty and well, heart-breaking in the end, that I don’t know if I want to open myself up to that again.
But I will, eventually, probably. When I really want to be ready, I will be. It’s that simple.
And it all applies to the rest of my life too. I talk about how much I hate my apartment, but do I do anything to make it better? No. And that’s something I have some control over. I mean, if it was suddenly spotless would the roaches disappear? Probably not. But I could make it better. I think I’m ready to make it better. And why didn’t I want to make it better sooner? Maybe I like to complain. Or I like the drama of talking about my tiny, roach-infested apartment. Which is kind of awful, and I hope that’s not why because nobody wants to be that girl who likes to suffer, but for whatever reason I wasn’t ready before, and now I am.
Maybe I think if I’m totally happy I won’t have anything to talk about.
Whoa.
I just blew my mind a little bit.
Again, that’s weird and a little sad and I hope that’s not what’s been holding me back, but if it is, I have control over that.
I’d rather just be happy than talk about the reasons I’m not.
Love,
Tara
7:39 PM Happy 5th of July!
I wrote the below blog post last night, but then I didn't post it because I thought it was kind of personal and would probably read like the rantings and ramblings of a crazy woman.
But now I'm posting it anyway.
Cheers!
T
Sunday, July 4, 2010
11:26 PM
I’m sick. Not like hungover-sick. Like sore-throat-runny-nose-body-aches-kind-of-sick. And I’ve been in bed all day, resting (i.e. watching ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and crying into bits of toilet paper). And it’s okay. It’s okay that I’m sick on the 4th of July, and I’ve been in bed crying and wiping away tears and my runny nose all day because I’ve had a revelation.
Now, I don’t know if it was the ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ or the lying in bed with nothing to do all day or the meds or the tequila I had last night (okay, maybe I am a little hungover-sick), but suddenly I have a very clear picture of what I can and cannot control.
This revelation is multi-layered, so bear with me. I think because my life was so out of control from March to the beginning of June because of work, I got used to feeling like I couldn’t control anything. So I just kind of gave up. Which in itself can seem kind of freeing because when you don’t have control over anything, you can’t be responsible for anything either. You can’t be mad or disappointed with yourself, really, because nothing is your fault – it’s all out of your control.
I’m still piecing this all together in my head, but it’s like this: I’m a talker. Or I was a talker. I always say I’m going to do things - that I know what I want. I make lists of all the things I need to do, and I vow that, eventually, I will do them. But saying you’re going to do something or be some way is very different from actually doing it or being that way. Which may seem like common sense, but that very basic lesson slipped away from me.
I kind of hate that the best example I can think of to explain all of this involves an ex-boyfriend, but it’s all I’ve got, so here it is: For a long time I wanted to get over this guy, and I just couldn’t do it. I told myself and everyone that I wanted to be over it, and I would get so frustrated with myself because, no matter what, for the longest time, I just wasn’t over it. And eventually I got to the point where I said to myself, “Okay, you’re not over it. I don’t know why, but you’re not ready to be over it. And when you truly want to be over it you will be.” And I was right. Because when I truly wanted to be over it with every fiber of my being, I was ready. And then I was over it. Just like that.
It sounds simple, but you can say you want something, and it can make perfect sense to want that thing, but saying you want it and actually wanting it are different. And it’s frustrating because, using the example from above, of course I should have wanted to be over the guy. Who wants to be hurting and hung up on a guy for years? But there was a part of me, the part that doesn’t listen to reason, that wasn’t ready to let it go until it was ready to let it go. You know?
And this applies to, well, everything, but I’m going to use another guy-related example. Because a few days ago I was on the phone with my mom, whining about guys (part of the revelation involves NOT complaining, by the way), and I said something like, “I want to be with the guy who thinks I’m so incredible that he gets over all his issues and insecurities to be with me because he just can’t not be with me.” And my mom, in her infinite wisdom, told me I already had that guy. In fact, I was dating him just a couple months ago, and I didn’t want him. And I got annoyed with her because, well, that was different. He was too into me. I needed more space than that. And my mom said, “Then you don’t want the thing that you say you want.”
And she was right.
Because I had that guy and I didn’t want him. And it makes complete sense to want to be in love. To want to be with the guy who’ll drop everything for you. But I don’t want that, and I’m not sure why. But the beauty of it is… that’s okay! I was thinking, at first, that it means there’s something wrong with me that I don’t want that. But I don’t think there is. I think maybe I’m just not ready to want that. Maybe I’m too immature. Or maybe it’s been so long since I’ve been in a relationship that I don’t know how to be in one. Or maybe because the only serious relationship I’ve ever had was so painful and twisty and well, heart-breaking in the end, that I don’t know if I want to open myself up to that again.
But I will, eventually, probably. When I really want to be ready, I will be. It’s that simple.
And it all applies to the rest of my life too. I talk about how much I hate my apartment, but do I do anything to make it better? No. And that’s something I have some control over. I mean, if it was suddenly spotless would the roaches disappear? Probably not. But I could make it better. I think I’m ready to make it better. And why didn’t I want to make it better sooner? Maybe I like to complain. Or I like the drama of talking about my tiny, roach-infested apartment. Which is kind of awful, and I hope that’s not why because nobody wants to be that girl who likes to suffer, but for whatever reason I wasn’t ready before, and now I am.
Maybe I think if I’m totally happy I won’t have anything to talk about.
Whoa.
I just blew my mind a little bit.
Again, that’s weird and a little sad and I hope that’s not what’s been holding me back, but if it is, I have control over that.
I’d rather just be happy than talk about the reasons I’m not.
Love,
Tara
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I could teach #10.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
7:53 PM I still can't write.
The 10 Most Important Things They Didn't Teach You In School via Cracked.com.
Love,
Tara
7:53 PM I still can't write.
The 10 Most Important Things They Didn't Teach You In School via Cracked.com.
Love,
Tara
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Take Our Advice.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
7:43 PM It's my world.
As part of our gift to Kaitlyn for her high school graduation (we got her a tv too!), Stephanie and I decided to combine our wisdomosity and create a list of advice for Kaitlyn's first year, which we presented to her at her graduation party this past Sunday. Our genius list is below...
Wear your PJs more than one night. You will have way too much laundry if you don’t. And you don’t really get that dirty at night.
Stock your fridge before the weekend. On the weekends, keep your fridge stocked with the purple “Revive” Vitamin Water. You’re body will be begging for those vitamins and electrolytes after a long night of, uh, studying.
Steal what you can from the dining hall. You are paying for it! There is no way you eat $14 worth of food at the dining hall in one meal, so take the rest to go.
Charge your Ipod every night. You’ll need it for the long walks to class.
Use a backpack. Cute bags aren’t worth the pain of shlepping all those books around.
Join clubs and activities during your first semester. You won’t want to – you’ll be meeting so many new people that the last thing you’ll want to do is put yourself out there and meet MORE new people during your free time, but you’ll be so happy you have several different groups of friends by your second semester.
Don’t wear PJ pants to the dining hall. Sweatpants are okay, but don’t be one of those people…
Do the assigned reading. The professor probably won’t check, but it’ll really help you on the tests.
Always keep your door locked. Just remember Steph’s story about drunk, naked boy at UVM...
Know the attendance policies. On day one, figure out exactly how many classes you can skip without it affecting your grade. Plan accordingly.
If you’re going to skip class, REALLY skip class. Don’t spend the day feeling guilty about it. Plan ahead and take full advantage by spending your day in bed, eating junk food and watching daytime television.
Take your laundry out as soon as it is done. People steal things or dump your clothes on the ground. It stinks.
Become friends with your RA. The RAs in your building can make your time there great, or make it stink. Trying to be friends with your RA, like going to their events, is always a good idea. It only takes a little effort and there is usually a huge payoff.
Don’t nap for more than an hour and a half in the middle of the day. You’re going to have breaks between your classes – sometimes long ones – and you’re going to want to nap. Don’t exceed 90 minutes and DON’T take a nap if it’s already dark out, unless it’s a Friday or Saturday night (see below). You don’t want to screw up your sleep schedule.
Do take advantage of the ‘Going Out Power Nap.’ Early in the evening on Fridays and Saturdays, when you know you’re going out that night, but it’s too early to start getting ready, eat a solid dinner and take an hour long nap. You’ll wake up refreshed and ready to start your night!
Surround yourself with pictures. It is a happy reminder that you are loved.
DON’T give that guy your number. Your freshman year, when a skeazy guy asks you for your number, you’re going to feel obligated to give it to him. You can tell him that you have a boyfriend or whatever, but he won’t care. He will do everything in his power to make you feel like you were being presumptuous for thinking he wanted your number for any other reason other than to call you about joining his intra-mural soccer team. Unless you met him on a soccer field, DON’T GIVE IT TO HIM. Tell him you’ll take his number instead. Then never call him.
Exercise. Get in the habit of doing it from the get-go. You will thank yourself later. Not only is not gaining the freshman fifteen great, but you’ll feel extra skinny when all your friends come home FAT.
Just say, “No, thanks.” Lots of crazy activist groups with names like “Save the Fish” and “Hugs for Hunger” target college campuses because college students are young and stupid with their money, especially when it seems like it’s for a good cause (who doesn’t want save fish?). They’ll suck you into a conversation with them while you’re on your way to class. Whatever they say, respond with a smile and “No, thanks.” “Hey, do you like breathing air?” “No, thanks!” “Do you want to change the world?” “No, thanks!” “Do you want to help thousands of starving children?” “No, thanks!”
Have two sets of all your essential gloops and glops. One for school, one for home. It makes packing to go home so much lighter and less stressful.
Have an excuse ready. You never know when you’re going to find yourself in a slightly uncomfortable situation, and it’s good to have a believable excuse ready that will get you out of there fast. Here’s what you do: First, look at your phone and make a confused face. Act like you’re answering the phone and say, “Hello?” Pause for a minute, feign shock, and say, “Oh my God, is she okay??” before pressing your finger to your other ear as if you’re trying to hear better. Then, move away from the people you’re with and into a corner of the room, as if you need some quiet and privacy to continue this very worrisome conversation. Keep the conversation quick, then return to the group and say, “I’m so sorry guys, but I have to go! A friend of mine is passed out at a party at (insert name of frat house here), and I have to help my other friend carry her home!” When they ask you who the friend is, tell them it’s someone from high school who was visiting another friend for the weekend. When/if they ask you if you want someone to go with you, say “No, no. It’s okay. I just really need to go.” Grab your purse and BAIL.
Don't leave food wrappers lying around. You may not have to deal with mice or roaches but there are BEARS.
Go to the library. It’s SO much easier to get work done when you’re not in your room.
Wear flipflops in the shower.
Keep a budget. You won’t always follow it, but it’s good to get an idea of how much money you’re spending versus how much you’re making (i.e. none). At the very least, it’s probably a good idea to learn Excel…
Dress for the weather. You are walking everywhere and UConn is a giant campus so dress appropriately. It gets cold there so if it is snowing, wear a parka. Trendy and cute can quickly become frost-bitten and blue.
For every alcoholic beverage you consume, drink a glass of water before passing out… er, going to bed. Once you’re 21, of course.
Eat UConn Dairy Bar ice cream every day. We believe that this is the best diet out there. We like to call it... the happy diet.
Keep your hand over your drink.
If you’re at a party and the hosts made some sort of pink drink in a giant cooler DON’T drink it. Just trust Tara.
Be smart when planning your Friday morning classes. Thursday becomes “Thirsty Thursday” in college.
Don’t walk around alone at night. It may seem like common sense, but sometimes you’ll be somewhere and you’ll want to leave and none of your friends will want to leave and you’ll convince yourself that it’s okay because there are a lot of people out in the street and your dorm is only five minutes away anyway. Don’t do it. Yes, you probably won’t get attacked in the middle of a busy, well-lit street, but drunk guys are douchebags, and you never know when you’re going to run into a group of them who think it’s funny to block the sidewalk so you can’t get by or just hassle you and make you feel uncomfortable. You’re an easier target if you’re alone.
Call your sisters!
Love,
Tara (& Steph!)
7:43 PM It's my world.
As part of our gift to Kaitlyn for her high school graduation (we got her a tv too!), Stephanie and I decided to combine our wisdomosity and create a list of advice for Kaitlyn's first year, which we presented to her at her graduation party this past Sunday. Our genius list is below...
Wear your PJs more than one night. You will have way too much laundry if you don’t. And you don’t really get that dirty at night.
Stock your fridge before the weekend. On the weekends, keep your fridge stocked with the purple “Revive” Vitamin Water. You’re body will be begging for those vitamins and electrolytes after a long night of, uh, studying.
Steal what you can from the dining hall. You are paying for it! There is no way you eat $14 worth of food at the dining hall in one meal, so take the rest to go.
Charge your Ipod every night. You’ll need it for the long walks to class.
Use a backpack. Cute bags aren’t worth the pain of shlepping all those books around.
Join clubs and activities during your first semester. You won’t want to – you’ll be meeting so many new people that the last thing you’ll want to do is put yourself out there and meet MORE new people during your free time, but you’ll be so happy you have several different groups of friends by your second semester.
Don’t wear PJ pants to the dining hall. Sweatpants are okay, but don’t be one of those people…
Do the assigned reading. The professor probably won’t check, but it’ll really help you on the tests.
Always keep your door locked. Just remember Steph’s story about drunk, naked boy at UVM...
Know the attendance policies. On day one, figure out exactly how many classes you can skip without it affecting your grade. Plan accordingly.
If you’re going to skip class, REALLY skip class. Don’t spend the day feeling guilty about it. Plan ahead and take full advantage by spending your day in bed, eating junk food and watching daytime television.
Take your laundry out as soon as it is done. People steal things or dump your clothes on the ground. It stinks.
Become friends with your RA. The RAs in your building can make your time there great, or make it stink. Trying to be friends with your RA, like going to their events, is always a good idea. It only takes a little effort and there is usually a huge payoff.
Don’t nap for more than an hour and a half in the middle of the day. You’re going to have breaks between your classes – sometimes long ones – and you’re going to want to nap. Don’t exceed 90 minutes and DON’T take a nap if it’s already dark out, unless it’s a Friday or Saturday night (see below). You don’t want to screw up your sleep schedule.
Do take advantage of the ‘Going Out Power Nap.’ Early in the evening on Fridays and Saturdays, when you know you’re going out that night, but it’s too early to start getting ready, eat a solid dinner and take an hour long nap. You’ll wake up refreshed and ready to start your night!
Surround yourself with pictures. It is a happy reminder that you are loved.
DON’T give that guy your number. Your freshman year, when a skeazy guy asks you for your number, you’re going to feel obligated to give it to him. You can tell him that you have a boyfriend or whatever, but he won’t care. He will do everything in his power to make you feel like you were being presumptuous for thinking he wanted your number for any other reason other than to call you about joining his intra-mural soccer team. Unless you met him on a soccer field, DON’T GIVE IT TO HIM. Tell him you’ll take his number instead. Then never call him.
Exercise. Get in the habit of doing it from the get-go. You will thank yourself later. Not only is not gaining the freshman fifteen great, but you’ll feel extra skinny when all your friends come home FAT.
Just say, “No, thanks.” Lots of crazy activist groups with names like “Save the Fish” and “Hugs for Hunger” target college campuses because college students are young and stupid with their money, especially when it seems like it’s for a good cause (who doesn’t want save fish?). They’ll suck you into a conversation with them while you’re on your way to class. Whatever they say, respond with a smile and “No, thanks.” “Hey, do you like breathing air?” “No, thanks!” “Do you want to change the world?” “No, thanks!” “Do you want to help thousands of starving children?” “No, thanks!”
Have two sets of all your essential gloops and glops. One for school, one for home. It makes packing to go home so much lighter and less stressful.
Have an excuse ready. You never know when you’re going to find yourself in a slightly uncomfortable situation, and it’s good to have a believable excuse ready that will get you out of there fast. Here’s what you do: First, look at your phone and make a confused face. Act like you’re answering the phone and say, “Hello?” Pause for a minute, feign shock, and say, “Oh my God, is she okay??” before pressing your finger to your other ear as if you’re trying to hear better. Then, move away from the people you’re with and into a corner of the room, as if you need some quiet and privacy to continue this very worrisome conversation. Keep the conversation quick, then return to the group and say, “I’m so sorry guys, but I have to go! A friend of mine is passed out at a party at (insert name of frat house here), and I have to help my other friend carry her home!” When they ask you who the friend is, tell them it’s someone from high school who was visiting another friend for the weekend. When/if they ask you if you want someone to go with you, say “No, no. It’s okay. I just really need to go.” Grab your purse and BAIL.
Don't leave food wrappers lying around. You may not have to deal with mice or roaches but there are BEARS.
Go to the library. It’s SO much easier to get work done when you’re not in your room.
Wear flipflops in the shower.
Keep a budget. You won’t always follow it, but it’s good to get an idea of how much money you’re spending versus how much you’re making (i.e. none). At the very least, it’s probably a good idea to learn Excel…
Dress for the weather. You are walking everywhere and UConn is a giant campus so dress appropriately. It gets cold there so if it is snowing, wear a parka. Trendy and cute can quickly become frost-bitten and blue.
For every alcoholic beverage you consume, drink a glass of water before passing out… er, going to bed. Once you’re 21, of course.
Eat UConn Dairy Bar ice cream every day. We believe that this is the best diet out there. We like to call it... the happy diet.
Keep your hand over your drink.
If you’re at a party and the hosts made some sort of pink drink in a giant cooler DON’T drink it. Just trust Tara.
Be smart when planning your Friday morning classes. Thursday becomes “Thirsty Thursday” in college.
Don’t walk around alone at night. It may seem like common sense, but sometimes you’ll be somewhere and you’ll want to leave and none of your friends will want to leave and you’ll convince yourself that it’s okay because there are a lot of people out in the street and your dorm is only five minutes away anyway. Don’t do it. Yes, you probably won’t get attacked in the middle of a busy, well-lit street, but drunk guys are douchebags, and you never know when you’re going to run into a group of them who think it’s funny to block the sidewalk so you can’t get by or just hassle you and make you feel uncomfortable. You’re an easier target if you’re alone.
Call your sisters!
Love,
Tara (& Steph!)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Magic.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
3:10 PM "She tapped her finger & nothing happened & she thought she had lost her magic, but it had only changed & it took her awhile to figure it out." - Magic, Storypeople
As I'm sure you've been able to tell by reading any of my posts from the last 3 months or so, I've lost my mojo. My juju. My creative chutzpah. Some people call it writer's block, but I've always thought of that as wanting to write something and not being able to. I simply haven't wanted to write.
When I moved here I promised myself I would at least take the time to write on the days I've had off, and I have stuck to that, though sometimes I'm a few days late. But the forcing myself to write has really just led to several months of weak (sometimes whiny) posts.
I do believe though, that writing something - anything - is better than nothing. It's a way of clearing the cobwebs, shifting stuff around, and making room for when that creative spark comes again.
I've had a lot going on, and I let myself get beaten down. I lost faith, and I lost the desire to write. But the spark's still there, somewhere. It's dimmed, but it's not out.
Bear with me. I can feel it coming back.
Love,
Tara
3:10 PM "She tapped her finger & nothing happened & she thought she had lost her magic, but it had only changed & it took her awhile to figure it out." - Magic, Storypeople
As I'm sure you've been able to tell by reading any of my posts from the last 3 months or so, I've lost my mojo. My juju. My creative chutzpah. Some people call it writer's block, but I've always thought of that as wanting to write something and not being able to. I simply haven't wanted to write.
When I moved here I promised myself I would at least take the time to write on the days I've had off, and I have stuck to that, though sometimes I'm a few days late. But the forcing myself to write has really just led to several months of weak (sometimes whiny) posts.
I do believe though, that writing something - anything - is better than nothing. It's a way of clearing the cobwebs, shifting stuff around, and making room for when that creative spark comes again.
I've had a lot going on, and I let myself get beaten down. I lost faith, and I lost the desire to write. But the spark's still there, somewhere. It's dimmed, but it's not out.
Bear with me. I can feel it coming back.
Love,
Tara
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
I am woman!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
9:55 PM I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t
I just want you all to know that the bottom hinge on my bedroom door broke and was sticking out at a weird angle so I couldn't close the door. So, first I kicked it. Then, I pulled up my hair and took out my TOOLBOX and found my PLIERS and used them to pull the bent SCREWS out of the broken HINGE.
The hinge isn't fixed, but the door CLOSES because of ME!
It's all about the baby steps, people.
Love,
Tara
9:55 PM I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t
I just want you all to know that the bottom hinge on my bedroom door broke and was sticking out at a weird angle so I couldn't close the door. So, first I kicked it. Then, I pulled up my hair and took out my TOOLBOX and found my PLIERS and used them to pull the bent SCREWS out of the broken HINGE.
The hinge isn't fixed, but the door CLOSES because of ME!
It's all about the baby steps, people.
Love,
Tara
Monday, June 7, 2010
My Life in Quotes
Monday, June 7, 2010
9:18 PM Because they say it better than I can...
In honor of the 7th, here are seven of my favorite quotes as of late:
1. "Keep in the sunlight." - Benjamin Franklin
2. "Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. "If you always do what pleases you, at least one person in satisfied." - Katharine Hepburn
4. "Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is still dark." - Rabindranath Tagore
5. "I believe… I believe… I believe in the good. I believe that it’s been a hell of a year, and I believe that in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we will all be okay. I believe in a lot of things…I believe we survive, George. I believe that believing we survive, is what makes us survive." - Grey's Anatomy
6. "You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time." - Kindred Spirits, Storypeople
7. "Most of the stuff I say is true because I saw it in a dream & I don't have the presence of mind to make up lies when I'm asleep." - Presence of Mind, Storypeople
...okay, one more for good luck...
8. "Although I was not unhappy, I was happiest with you." - Richard Burton to Elizabeth Taylor.
Love,
Tara
9:18 PM Because they say it better than I can...
In honor of the 7th, here are seven of my favorite quotes as of late:
1. "Keep in the sunlight." - Benjamin Franklin
2. "Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. "If you always do what pleases you, at least one person in satisfied." - Katharine Hepburn
4. "Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is still dark." - Rabindranath Tagore
5. "I believe… I believe… I believe in the good. I believe that it’s been a hell of a year, and I believe that in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we will all be okay. I believe in a lot of things…I believe we survive, George. I believe that believing we survive, is what makes us survive." - Grey's Anatomy
6. "You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time." - Kindred Spirits, Storypeople
7. "Most of the stuff I say is true because I saw it in a dream & I don't have the presence of mind to make up lies when I'm asleep." - Presence of Mind, Storypeople
...okay, one more for good luck...
8. "Although I was not unhappy, I was happiest with you." - Richard Burton to Elizabeth Taylor.
Love,
Tara
Monday, May 31, 2010
Tired.
Monday, May 31, 2010
2:55 PM Put up a parking lot.
I’ve been feeling kind of homesick lately. Today is better than yesterday was, but I think that since the weather has turned all summery, and because I’m used to spending my summers at home, it’s been worse lately.
Because I have today off, and all I really want to do is run errands with my mom around Glastonbury and come home and have a cook out with my family. Maybe meet Eliz at Whole Foods for a little while. Go with Steph to bring Kaitlyn lunch at the toy store. Hang around with my friends at Plan B later tonight.
A year ago I was living at home, desperately trying to find a job. They say you don’t know what you got till it’s gone, but even though I didn’t know if I’d ever get a job and move out, I always knew what I had.
I’m not trying to be depressing. I’m just tired of being away.
Love,
Tara
2:55 PM Put up a parking lot.
I’ve been feeling kind of homesick lately. Today is better than yesterday was, but I think that since the weather has turned all summery, and because I’m used to spending my summers at home, it’s been worse lately.
Because I have today off, and all I really want to do is run errands with my mom around Glastonbury and come home and have a cook out with my family. Maybe meet Eliz at Whole Foods for a little while. Go with Steph to bring Kaitlyn lunch at the toy store. Hang around with my friends at Plan B later tonight.
A year ago I was living at home, desperately trying to find a job. They say you don’t know what you got till it’s gone, but even though I didn’t know if I’d ever get a job and move out, I always knew what I had.
I’m not trying to be depressing. I’m just tired of being away.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, May 30, 2010
"I can watch a sunset on my own."
Sunday, May 30, 2010
7:58 PM From where dirt used to be.
Today I went to Central Park and the movie theater by myself. I’ve found I tend to not do things if I have no one to do them with, and today, on the first Sunday I’ve had off in a long time when I wasn’t too tired or too hungover, I decided to break the habit.
I wish I could tell you that I truly appreciated the time I got to spend with myself as I wandered the streets of New York City or sat alone in Central Park or alone in the movie theater. I’d like to be able to write this as an enlightened, self-confident woman who knows that at the end of the day she only needs herself.
But the truth is, spending the whole day alone was, well, lonely.
But I am proud of myself for doing what I wanted to do today, regardless of whether I had someone to do it with or not.
This was just one day. I don’t have to be enlightened yet. Just gotta keep the faith.
Love,
Tara
7:58 PM From where dirt used to be.
Today I went to Central Park and the movie theater by myself. I’ve found I tend to not do things if I have no one to do them with, and today, on the first Sunday I’ve had off in a long time when I wasn’t too tired or too hungover, I decided to break the habit.
I wish I could tell you that I truly appreciated the time I got to spend with myself as I wandered the streets of New York City or sat alone in Central Park or alone in the movie theater. I’d like to be able to write this as an enlightened, self-confident woman who knows that at the end of the day she only needs herself.
But the truth is, spending the whole day alone was, well, lonely.
But I am proud of myself for doing what I wanted to do today, regardless of whether I had someone to do it with or not.
This was just one day. I don’t have to be enlightened yet. Just gotta keep the faith.
Love,
Tara
Monday, May 24, 2010
Confucius say what?
Monday, May 24, 2010
7:40 PM How fortunate.
Now that I'm nearing the end of my first assignment, I'm noticing a pattern of things I do that help me get through the 12-hour days. I didn't become aware of these habits until recently, but now that I've noticed a few of my survival techniques, I can't stop! It's kind of funny how we learn to cope with the challenges life throws at us without fully being aware we're doing it.
The first thing I do when I arrive at 30 Rock around 6 in the morning is glance over at the ice skating rink, which has now transformed into the rink bar. There usually aren't many people around that early in the morning, and it's kind of peaceful knowing I have the plaza all to myself. Across the street I can see the bright windows of 'The Today Show,' where PAs are setting up. I take many long, deep breaths trying to capture the calm of that moment.
When I open the door leading to the floor of my office, everything is dark, but all the lights are motion-sensitive, so they begin the click on one-by-one as I walk down the hall. My new favorite thing to do is to raise my arms as if I'm making the lights come on by magic. It's silly, but I crack myself up every single time.
Usually nobody else gets to the office until close to 7, so I have almost an hour all by myself. For that hour, I usually listen to KISS 95.7, my hometown radio station, online. The voices of the hosts of the morning talk show are familiar to me, and it reminds me of driving around Glastonbury. The background on my computer at work is one of the buildings surrounding the Boston Harbor. I like the familiar.
The days themselves are often relatively stressful, and just a few weeks into my assignment I realized I was never smiling. In fact, I was often kind of frowning. I read in a magazine once that even if you're not happy, if you make the motion of smiling, the muscle movement releases some kind of happy-hormone. I don't know if it's true, but if you ever walk quietly around the corner to my desk, you'll catch me smiling eerily at my computer screen over and over again.
My sister Kaitlyn told me about this great website 1000awesomethings.com and it truly is, well, awesome. If I ever have a spare moment, I'll click through some of the postings. I always find something that makes me smile (real smile, not fake smile.).
And finally, this isn't so much a pattern as it is a constant reminder, but I have a fortune taped to the top of my computer. I've been collecting the little papers that come inside fortune cookies for years now, but I found this one in my pocket one day and decided to keep it at work. It says "The one who would be constant in happiness must frequently change." At first, I liked it but didn't think it was especially applicable to my current situation, given that I would be at the assignment for three months. But I've come to realize it does apply: as much as I think I would have been content to stay on the tour route with my friends, the simple fact is I probably would have gotten bored and become unhappy. This assignment was a necessary change that has taught me a lot, and in two weeks everything will change again, and I'll start on the next phase. We can't stay forever as we are. But when we're presented with a challenging change, it's the little things we do that get us through.
Love,
Tara
7:40 PM How fortunate.
Now that I'm nearing the end of my first assignment, I'm noticing a pattern of things I do that help me get through the 12-hour days. I didn't become aware of these habits until recently, but now that I've noticed a few of my survival techniques, I can't stop! It's kind of funny how we learn to cope with the challenges life throws at us without fully being aware we're doing it.
The first thing I do when I arrive at 30 Rock around 6 in the morning is glance over at the ice skating rink, which has now transformed into the rink bar. There usually aren't many people around that early in the morning, and it's kind of peaceful knowing I have the plaza all to myself. Across the street I can see the bright windows of 'The Today Show,' where PAs are setting up. I take many long, deep breaths trying to capture the calm of that moment.
When I open the door leading to the floor of my office, everything is dark, but all the lights are motion-sensitive, so they begin the click on one-by-one as I walk down the hall. My new favorite thing to do is to raise my arms as if I'm making the lights come on by magic. It's silly, but I crack myself up every single time.
Usually nobody else gets to the office until close to 7, so I have almost an hour all by myself. For that hour, I usually listen to KISS 95.7, my hometown radio station, online. The voices of the hosts of the morning talk show are familiar to me, and it reminds me of driving around Glastonbury. The background on my computer at work is one of the buildings surrounding the Boston Harbor. I like the familiar.
The days themselves are often relatively stressful, and just a few weeks into my assignment I realized I was never smiling. In fact, I was often kind of frowning. I read in a magazine once that even if you're not happy, if you make the motion of smiling, the muscle movement releases some kind of happy-hormone. I don't know if it's true, but if you ever walk quietly around the corner to my desk, you'll catch me smiling eerily at my computer screen over and over again.
My sister Kaitlyn told me about this great website 1000awesomethings.com and it truly is, well, awesome. If I ever have a spare moment, I'll click through some of the postings. I always find something that makes me smile (real smile, not fake smile.).
And finally, this isn't so much a pattern as it is a constant reminder, but I have a fortune taped to the top of my computer. I've been collecting the little papers that come inside fortune cookies for years now, but I found this one in my pocket one day and decided to keep it at work. It says "The one who would be constant in happiness must frequently change." At first, I liked it but didn't think it was especially applicable to my current situation, given that I would be at the assignment for three months. But I've come to realize it does apply: as much as I think I would have been content to stay on the tour route with my friends, the simple fact is I probably would have gotten bored and become unhappy. This assignment was a necessary change that has taught me a lot, and in two weeks everything will change again, and I'll start on the next phase. We can't stay forever as we are. But when we're presented with a challenging change, it's the little things we do that get us through.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, May 23, 2010
True story.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
7:40 PM "In the Sun" by Michael Stipe & Coldplay
The other day I was bumming about a this guy I went on a couple dates with who suddenly stopped calling, when Kaitlyn sent me the following email. The girl's wisdomosity truly surprises me sometimes. When did she get this mature?? I was just clicking through her Senior Ball photos on Facebook, and it's amazing to me how OLD she is. I wonder if 17-year-olds really do have everything figured out...
Kaitlyn to me
May 21 (2 days ago)
Almost never good, Hemingway
And the reason why is that he's completely stupid! Don't give him a second thought!!! I'm serious. Every time you start to think it over and get all girly and gormany and analyze every text you ever sent him, just think about.... cats.... or read a magazine..... give yourself a pedicure?? Just think of something you can focus on instead. If women could understand the brains of man we'd have solved all the world's issues by now. You'll never know why he's a complete f*cktard so don't give it a second thought!
You're too hot for that. True story.
Love,
Tara
7:40 PM "In the Sun" by Michael Stipe & Coldplay
The other day I was bumming about a this guy I went on a couple dates with who suddenly stopped calling, when Kaitlyn sent me the following email. The girl's wisdomosity truly surprises me sometimes. When did she get this mature?? I was just clicking through her Senior Ball photos on Facebook, and it's amazing to me how OLD she is. I wonder if 17-year-olds really do have everything figured out...
Kaitlyn to me
May 21 (2 days ago)
Almost never good, Hemingway
And the reason why is that he's completely stupid! Don't give him a second thought!!! I'm serious. Every time you start to think it over and get all girly and gormany and analyze every text you ever sent him, just think about.... cats.... or read a magazine..... give yourself a pedicure?? Just think of something you can focus on instead. If women could understand the brains of man we'd have solved all the world's issues by now. You'll never know why he's a complete f*cktard so don't give it a second thought!
You're too hot for that. True story.
Love,
Tara
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
"I'm good. I've just been up for three days."
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
6:47 PM "Yeah, no, I'm all about different."
Okay, so I never took the opportunity to brag on my blog about how AMAZING the SNL season finale was last weekend and how I was IN THE STUDIO for part of the show (including Weekend Update and a Tom Petty performance) and how I saw SO many famous people ("Oh, hi Bobby! Great show!") and how I was at the After After party until 8:30 in the morning.
But bragging is unattractive, so I'm not going to do that here. Instead, I'm going to share some of my favorite clips. If you haven't seen these yet, you need to.
Love,
Tara
6:47 PM "Yeah, no, I'm all about different."
Okay, so I never took the opportunity to brag on my blog about how AMAZING the SNL season finale was last weekend and how I was IN THE STUDIO for part of the show (including Weekend Update and a Tom Petty performance) and how I saw SO many famous people ("Oh, hi Bobby! Great show!") and how I was at the After After party until 8:30 in the morning.
But bragging is unattractive, so I'm not going to do that here. Instead, I'm going to share some of my favorite clips. If you haven't seen these yet, you need to.
Love,
Tara
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
"I Like My Hair!"
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
6:48 PM Typical Tuesday...
The video below makes me feel better about... everything. Seriously. TRY not to smile.
I think I need to take a page out of Jessica's book.
Love,
Tara
6:48 PM Typical Tuesday...
The video below makes me feel better about... everything. Seriously. TRY not to smile.
I think I need to take a page out of Jessica's book.
Love,
Tara
Friday, April 30, 2010
I Hate Everyone.
Friday, April 30, 2010
7:24 PM Some stupid chick in the checkout line...
One of the (many) great things I've found about watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy is rediscovering songs I used to love. I like to think I'm a pretty positive person, but this song was blasting as I walked home from work today. Sometimes you just need a few minutes of hating everyone to get the anger out and move on.
Love,
Tara
7:24 PM Some stupid chick in the checkout line...
One of the (many) great things I've found about watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy is rediscovering songs I used to love. I like to think I'm a pretty positive person, but this song was blasting as I walked home from work today. Sometimes you just need a few minutes of hating everyone to get the anger out and move on.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, April 18, 2010
It's the Little Things...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
9:11 PM Half way through my assignment.
Conversations with Tourists
It is far too early on a Saturday morning, and Tara is starting her first tour of the day. She stands in front of a small theater, looking up at 30 teenagers from a high school in Iowa. Or Idaho. It doesn't matter. She is going over the ground rules as the hormonally-charged group laughs and throws things at one another. It is going to be a long tour.
Tara: ...and finally -- I hope this doesn't disappoint anyone -- this is a 'weapons free' tour.
(The group pretends to be disappointed. A guy in the front row raises his hand. He's smirking.)
Tara (silently bracing herself for his smart-aleck remark): Yes?
Guy: What about my fists? Do they count as a weapon?
(The group erupts into a fit of giggles.)
Tara: Let me see.
(The guy flexes his arms to show her.)
Tara: (laughs) Yeah, I'm not too worried about those.
(Group bursts into laughter.)
It was my best tourist burn to date. I'll keep you posted.
Love,
Tara
9:11 PM Half way through my assignment.
Conversations with Tourists
It is far too early on a Saturday morning, and Tara is starting her first tour of the day. She stands in front of a small theater, looking up at 30 teenagers from a high school in Iowa. Or Idaho. It doesn't matter. She is going over the ground rules as the hormonally-charged group laughs and throws things at one another. It is going to be a long tour.
Tara: ...and finally -- I hope this doesn't disappoint anyone -- this is a 'weapons free' tour.
(The group pretends to be disappointed. A guy in the front row raises his hand. He's smirking.)
Tara (silently bracing herself for his smart-aleck remark): Yes?
Guy: What about my fists? Do they count as a weapon?
(The group erupts into a fit of giggles.)
Tara: Let me see.
(The guy flexes his arms to show her.)
Tara: (laughs) Yeah, I'm not too worried about those.
(Group bursts into laughter.)
It was my best tourist burn to date. I'll keep you posted.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Paying the Fiddler
Sunday, April 11, 2010
4:11 PM Guess who's still in bed?
Conversations with My Father (via text message)
Dad (11:56:57 AM): Awake yet? Happy Sunday. Love, D
Tara (11:58:35 AM): Awake, more or less. Happy Sunday to you too!
Dad (12:00:13 PM): Paying the fiddler I guess. How's it feel when you shake your head back and forth real fast? :)
Tara (12:10:55 PM): Hahaha not good, Dad. Not good.
He knows his daughter well...
Love,
Tara
4:11 PM Guess who's still in bed?
Conversations with My Father (via text message)
Dad (11:56:57 AM): Awake yet? Happy Sunday. Love, D
Tara (11:58:35 AM): Awake, more or less. Happy Sunday to you too!
Dad (12:00:13 PM): Paying the fiddler I guess. How's it feel when you shake your head back and forth real fast? :)
Tara (12:10:55 PM): Hahaha not good, Dad. Not good.
He knows his daughter well...
Love,
Tara
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