"Happiness hit her like a train on a track."

Friday, August 13, 2010
11:58 AM  Oh, I am inspired!

You MUST listen to this song (below).  My friend Eliz sent it to me, and it's literally all I have listened to for the past two days.  Coincidentally (or maybe not so coincidentally) it is featured in the trailer for "Eat, Pray, Love," which came out today.  I'm still not finished with the book, but I cannot wait to see it.

Anyway, the first time I listened to the song was yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work.  I was only half paying attention to it as I had overslept and was busy rushing around, but I liked it well enough.  It wasn't until later that morning that I loved it.  I was walking to work, listening to the song on my Ipod and trying to shift all of the gear I was carrying (purse, gym bag, phone, Ipod), when my hand accidentally hit the volume on my Ipod.  Suddenly the song was absolutely blasting in my ears.  It was so loud it actually took my breath away.  But as I stood there, fumbling with my Ipod to bring the volume back to a normal level, I actually listened to the lyrics.

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

I got chills.  I love the idea of running as fast as you can for happiness and the life that you want and I love the idea that you should do it for the people in your life who want you to be happy.  Yes, you should strive for happiness for you, but I think sometimes it's easy for us to push our own pursuit for happiness aside, like it's not important.  Here, the singer is reminding us that if you can't do it for yourself, do it for all the people in the world who want you to be happy.  What's that saying?  The greatest gift you can give another person is your happiness.  I love that.  And don't walk.  Run.

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too

Here, I imagine she's speaking to the universe or her life.  She's not asking for anything, but she wants everything.  I relate this back to my whole "demanding more from the universe" thing.  She doesn't have to demand anything -- I think it's all right there for her to take.

And the drums! Oh, I love the drums. I play this song in my room and I dance around and I bang on the walls and my desk and my dresser. Towards the end the drums have this whole tribal, earthly sound to them that I love.  I can't even explain how great it feels to listen to this song and just bang on things.

And when you think the song is over, it's not!  I know I sound like a lunatic, but I just love this song on all its levels because it's exactly how I feel right now.  Sometimes these days I'm so happy, it's all I can do not to burst out laughing in the middle of the street.  For a long time I lived my life waiting for the next thing to happen.  I would think, Okay, well I'm going to be happy after this really stressful week is over.  Or, I'll finally be happy when I get a job...I'll finally be happy when I have a day off...I'll finally be happy when I make more money.  And I realized a while ago that you can't keep waiting for that thing to happen because A.) when you focus all your attention on the one thing you don't have, it's a sure way to be unhappy and B.) THERE'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE ANOTHER THING.  The key, I think, is to make this moment as good as you possibly can.  You have to live in the now.  Napoleon Hill said, "Don't wait. The time will never be just right."  Can I get an amen?

Now, like most things, this is all easier said than done, but once it clicks it just clicks.  In the past, when I would get really happy over something, I would panic and kind of cling to it.  I didn't want that wonderful feeling to go away.  But, I realized, that clinging and panicking is a great way to ruin your happiness.  I realize this is a completely hippie-dippy thing to say, but I'm going to say it anyway -- I am my own happiness.  The happier I get, the more happiness comes.  Beauty attracts beauty and all that.  It's never-ending... kind of like this song seems.  Just when you think it might be over, it's not.

Somebody bring me a drum.

Love,
Tara