Tuesday, December 14, 2010
7:52 PM Ok, maybe my side isn't so flattering...
Via text one bright Saturday morning...
Mom (8:15:15 AM): U were at happy hour for like 12 hours ;)
T (8:57:19 AM): I hooked up with [TEXT REMOVED TO PROTECT, UH, ME]
Mom (8:58:16 AM): Hmmm - kissing a cute guy isn't a bad night ;)
T (8:59:22 AM): Hahaha yeah it was pretty great. Kill me tho
Mom (8:59:51 AM): Why kill u?
T (9:00:45 AM): Ha because I'm hungover and I made out with [TEXT REMOVED...AGAIN]
Mom (9:03:13 AM): U had fun last night so that is good. Take some Tylenol, drink a big glass of water and go back to sleep - u only slept 4 hours. ...Que será será (not sure how to spell that).
T (9:03:57 AM): Ahhh you're the best mom ever
Love,
Tara
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Riding Trains With Strangers
Saturday, December 4, 2010
10:25 PM This is my life.
Let me tell you about the train ride home yesterday. So, it's Friday evening. I get out of work around six and elbow my way through the mobs of people surrounding Rockefeller Plaza. It's an interesting mix of awestruck tourists trying to get to the tree and angry New Yorkers trying to get home from work. I don't think I've heard the words "Jesus Christ" uttered so many times in such a short span of time.
So, I get to Penn Station and I'm standing by the giant Departure board, waiting for my gate to be announced. While impatiently shifting my bags I get irrationally angry as I watch a girl my age coming up the escalator holding a bag of popcorn. Instead of using her other free hand to eat the popcorn, she dips her tongue into the bag and happily munches away. This evokes an anger in me I can't fully describe, but I feel a little better imagining myself punching the bag out of her hands. Why so angry? It's not nice or even logical, but maybe it's because I'm breathless and achy and stressed and there she is, floating up the escalator, tonguing her popcorn.
Anyway, the gate gets listed and I elbow my way through the line and get on the train. I had forgotten my iPod at home the weekend before, so I was especially psyched to nab a seat in the "Quiet Car." I was looking forward to peace and quiet, especially since I didn't have music to distract me or to drown out noise.
Alas, just as the train is about to leave, I notice a middle-aged man hovering near my seat. Actually, that's not true. I smelled stale smoke, and then I realized a middle-aged man was hovering near my seat. "Can I sit here?" he smiled, through yellow teeth. "Sure," I shrugged, turning back to my book.
Even looking back now, I can't figure out what possessed this man to talk to me. In fact, I'm not sure what possesses any man to talk to me when I don't want to be talked to, because I think I make my body language pretty clear. I had my head buried in a book and I had my body shifted away from him (and the stench of smoke) and toward the window. Oh, and did I mention the book I was reading was "Chastened"? Like, if the fact that I'm sitting alone on a train reading a book doesn't scream "Hey Men! Don't talk to me!" the fact that the book I'm reading says "CHASTENED" in big black letters across the front should be enough to send any sane man running. But alas, I have always had a knack for attracting the crazies...
Announcer: (static) ...Ladies and Gentleman, this is the 6:43 train 148 regional train to Springfield, Massachusetts...
Creeper: (takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment) Say, do you know if this train is going to Springfield?
T: (looks up from her book) I think so.
T turns back to her book.
2 minutes later...
Creeper: So, are you from Manhattan?
T: (half looks up) No, I'm not.
The Creeper pauses, takes a deep breath and holds it again. T braces herself.
Creeper: Well, I'm from Springfield.
T nods, not looking up from her book.
1 minute later...
Creeper: I wonder why people from Connecticut don't have accents. Like in Massachusetts, where I'm from people say, "I'm going to pahk the cah," but people in Connecticut don't sound like that.
T: (looks at the Creeper, mostly to be sure this is actually happening) Yeah, I don't know.
8 minutes later...
The Creeper stands up.
Creeper: Would you mind watching my bag for me?
T: Sure.
15 minutes later the Creeper returns, Bloody Mary in hand. He sits down and slurps loudly.
Creeper: You know, I gotta tell ya, these drinks are pretty good.
T: (no longer bothering to look up) That's good.
Creeper: Would you like one?
T: Nope, I'm all set.
The Creeper slurps loudly.
15 minutes later the Creeper stands up and leaves again. He returns five minutes later with another Bloody Mary. He sits down heavily.
Creeper: Did you know they call this the 'Quiet Car'? I'm going to call it the 'Party Car.'
T: (raises an eyebrow) Are you allowed to do that?
T braces herself. In her impulse to go to sarcasm she has accidentally asked the Creeper a question. Fortunately he is too busy gulping his Bloody Mary to answer.
5 minutes later...
Creeper: I bet you're in school will all that reading you're doing.
T: I do like reading.
NOTE: T dodges the question about college on purpose. Talking about college or anything related to college is dangerous. Much like marijuana is considered a gateway drug to the use of other more dangerous drugs, talking about college can lead to a plethora of more dangerous topics of conversation. Questions like where you went, what you majored in, and how you liked it can go on forever, quickly leaving you helpless and wondering at what point in the conversation you lost control.
10 minutes later...
Creeper: May I ask how many more years of school you have?
T: (exasperated) I've graduated.
Creeper: Oh wow! I bet you were a business major.
T: (turning a page in her book) Nope.
Creeper: Sorry?
T: (she looks at him and enunciates) I wasn't a business major.
1 minute later...
Creeper: Well, I was a psychology major. I chose it because I'm so mentally screwed up, I thought it would help me figure some stuff out. But then I realized my professors were even more screwed up than I was!
T: That's good you learned something.
T is seriously considering pretending to fall asleep at this point, except she's sort of afraid he'll sit there and watch her. Then something miraculous happens...
Creeper: I just got a promotion at work and they want me t-
The woman sitting in front of T and the Creeper turns around.
Woman: (to the Creeper) Excuse me, would you mind keeping it down?
Creeper: I'm so sorry.
T smirks into her book.
Not five minutes later, the Creeper stands up, gathers his things, bids T farewell and moves into a different car.
To his credit, he did so quietly.
Love,
Tara
10:25 PM This is my life.
Let me tell you about the train ride home yesterday. So, it's Friday evening. I get out of work around six and elbow my way through the mobs of people surrounding Rockefeller Plaza. It's an interesting mix of awestruck tourists trying to get to the tree and angry New Yorkers trying to get home from work. I don't think I've heard the words "Jesus Christ" uttered so many times in such a short span of time.
So, I get to Penn Station and I'm standing by the giant Departure board, waiting for my gate to be announced. While impatiently shifting my bags I get irrationally angry as I watch a girl my age coming up the escalator holding a bag of popcorn. Instead of using her other free hand to eat the popcorn, she dips her tongue into the bag and happily munches away. This evokes an anger in me I can't fully describe, but I feel a little better imagining myself punching the bag out of her hands. Why so angry? It's not nice or even logical, but maybe it's because I'm breathless and achy and stressed and there she is, floating up the escalator, tonguing her popcorn.
Anyway, the gate gets listed and I elbow my way through the line and get on the train. I had forgotten my iPod at home the weekend before, so I was especially psyched to nab a seat in the "Quiet Car." I was looking forward to peace and quiet, especially since I didn't have music to distract me or to drown out noise.
Alas, just as the train is about to leave, I notice a middle-aged man hovering near my seat. Actually, that's not true. I smelled stale smoke, and then I realized a middle-aged man was hovering near my seat. "Can I sit here?" he smiled, through yellow teeth. "Sure," I shrugged, turning back to my book.
Even looking back now, I can't figure out what possessed this man to talk to me. In fact, I'm not sure what possesses any man to talk to me when I don't want to be talked to, because I think I make my body language pretty clear. I had my head buried in a book and I had my body shifted away from him (and the stench of smoke) and toward the window. Oh, and did I mention the book I was reading was "Chastened"? Like, if the fact that I'm sitting alone on a train reading a book doesn't scream "Hey Men! Don't talk to me!" the fact that the book I'm reading says "CHASTENED" in big black letters across the front should be enough to send any sane man running. But alas, I have always had a knack for attracting the crazies...
Announcer: (static) ...Ladies and Gentleman, this is the 6:43 train 148 regional train to Springfield, Massachusetts...
Creeper: (takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment) Say, do you know if this train is going to Springfield?
T: (looks up from her book) I think so.
T turns back to her book.
2 minutes later...
Creeper: So, are you from Manhattan?
T: (half looks up) No, I'm not.
The Creeper pauses, takes a deep breath and holds it again. T braces herself.
Creeper: Well, I'm from Springfield.
T nods, not looking up from her book.
1 minute later...
Creeper: I wonder why people from Connecticut don't have accents. Like in Massachusetts, where I'm from people say, "I'm going to pahk the cah," but people in Connecticut don't sound like that.
T: (looks at the Creeper, mostly to be sure this is actually happening) Yeah, I don't know.
8 minutes later...
The Creeper stands up.
Creeper: Would you mind watching my bag for me?
T: Sure.
15 minutes later the Creeper returns, Bloody Mary in hand. He sits down and slurps loudly.
Creeper: You know, I gotta tell ya, these drinks are pretty good.
T: (no longer bothering to look up) That's good.
Creeper: Would you like one?
T: Nope, I'm all set.
The Creeper slurps loudly.
15 minutes later the Creeper stands up and leaves again. He returns five minutes later with another Bloody Mary. He sits down heavily.
Creeper: Did you know they call this the 'Quiet Car'? I'm going to call it the 'Party Car.'
T: (raises an eyebrow) Are you allowed to do that?
T braces herself. In her impulse to go to sarcasm she has accidentally asked the Creeper a question. Fortunately he is too busy gulping his Bloody Mary to answer.
5 minutes later...
Creeper: I bet you're in school will all that reading you're doing.
T: I do like reading.
NOTE: T dodges the question about college on purpose. Talking about college or anything related to college is dangerous. Much like marijuana is considered a gateway drug to the use of other more dangerous drugs, talking about college can lead to a plethora of more dangerous topics of conversation. Questions like where you went, what you majored in, and how you liked it can go on forever, quickly leaving you helpless and wondering at what point in the conversation you lost control.
10 minutes later...
Creeper: May I ask how many more years of school you have?
T: (exasperated) I've graduated.
Creeper: Oh wow! I bet you were a business major.
T: (turning a page in her book) Nope.
Creeper: Sorry?
T: (she looks at him and enunciates) I wasn't a business major.
1 minute later...
Creeper: Well, I was a psychology major. I chose it because I'm so mentally screwed up, I thought it would help me figure some stuff out. But then I realized my professors were even more screwed up than I was!
T: That's good you learned something.
T is seriously considering pretending to fall asleep at this point, except she's sort of afraid he'll sit there and watch her. Then something miraculous happens...
Creeper: I just got a promotion at work and they want me t-
The woman sitting in front of T and the Creeper turns around.
Woman: (to the Creeper) Excuse me, would you mind keeping it down?
Creeper: I'm so sorry.
T smirks into her book.
Not five minutes later, the Creeper stands up, gathers his things, bids T farewell and moves into a different car.
To his credit, he did so quietly.
Love,
Tara
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Exclamation Point!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
9:03 PM This week I'm thankful for...
This past weekend while I was home in CT, I went shopping with my mom and she bought me...wait for it... a brand new Vera Bradley planner for 2011! It's beautiful and pink with lots of white swirly designs on it and has everything I need to take my OCD to whole new levels.
One thing I love about the planner is at the end of each week it poses a sort of fill in the blank. Written at the bottom of the page is something like "This week I'm thankful for..." and then you fill it whatever you like. As I transfer notes and important dates from my old planner to my new planner, I thought it might be interesting to look at all of my answers from the past year and a half. I haven't cheated and looked ahead yet. I'm a little scared...
Week 31: This week I'm thankful for... my friends!
Week 32: This week I laughed when... I watched Kaitlyn's play!
Week 33: The best thing that happened this week was... when I got an email from NBC asking me to interview for a job!
Week 34: This week I smiled when... I drove with Greg up to Boston to see Ally, Kelly + Szebs.
Week 35: This week I'm thankful for... my supportive, patient family.
Week 36: This week I laughed when... Christina called me!
Week 37: The best thing that happened this week was... getting together with Ally, A and Steph at Maxamore.
Week 38: This week I smiled when... I hear Candace Bushnell speak.
Week 39: This week I'm thankful for... my mom.
Week 40: This week I laughed when... I went to Ang's with Karen.
Week 41: The best thing that happened this week was... when * messaged me on Facebook :)
Week 42: This week I smiled when... * and I texted for five hours on Thursday :)
Week 43: This week I'm thankful for... the girls of 426 :)
Week 44: This week I laughed when... * was texting me on Wednesday.
Week 45: The best thing that happened this week was... getting out of a relationship that was going no where... even though it was hard!
Week 46: This week I smiled when... my Welcome Packet from NBC came :)
Week 47: This week I'm thankful for... the health of my friends and family.
Week 48: This week I laughed when... I spent time with good friends at South Tavern Wednesday night.
Week 49: The best thing that happened this week was... (possibly) finding a cool, normal roommate for NYC!
Week 50: This week I smiled when... I got to see everyone in COM :)
Week 51: This week I'm thankful for... my dad for always helping me out :)
Week 52: This week I laughed when... I saw Kaylee on Christmas.
Week 1: The best thing that happened this week was... laying by the pool in Key West.
Week 2: This week I smiled when... I told my family i got my start date from NBC.
Week 3: This week I'm thankful for... my dad, who is always there for me.
Week 4: This week I laughed when... I got to sit in the audience for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon!
Week 5: The best thing that happened this week was... getting to go home!
Week 6: This week I smiled when... I went out with everyone to the mentor/mentee dinner.
Week 7: This week I'm thankful for... my will to persevere!
Week 8: This week I laughed when... I saw 'Up In The Air.'
Week 9: The best thing that happened this week was... winning the Page of the Month award!!!!!!
Week 10: This week I smiled when... I got the Corp Comm assignment.
Week 11: This week I'm thankful for... days off!
Week 12: This week I laughed when... I went to Perdition with the pages Saturday night.
Week 13: The best thing that happened this week was... going to Katie's birthday party with the pages.
Week 14: This week I smiled when... my cousins came over for Easter :)
Week 15: This week I'm thankful for... my page friends :)
Week 16: This week I laughed when... I went to the Brooklyn Brewery with the pages.
Week 17: The best thing that happened this week was... having an awesome dinner with Liz!
Week 18: This week I smiled when... we were at No Idea for my birthday :)
Week 19: This week I'm thankful for... my mom <3
Week 20: This week I laughed when... I was at the SNL season finale After, After with all my friends!
Week 21: The best thing that happened this week was... getting Saturday TC!
Week 22: This week I smiled when... Corp Comm threw me a goodbye lunch!
Week 24: This week I laughed when... I was at the page council meeting.
Week 25: The best thing that happened this week was... getting to spend 3 days at home!
Week 26: This week I smiled when... * brought me strawberries.
Week 27: This week I'm thankful for... chick flicks :)
Week 28: This week I laughed when... I hung out with Arianna.
Week 29: The best thing that happened this week was... going to Stone Harbor with my family!
Week 30: This week I smiled when... I went to brunch with Mike and Kayla.
Week 31: This week I'm thankful for... good books!
Week 32: This week I laughed when... I saw Kaitlyn's play.
Week 33: The best thing that happened this week was... going on the Sports Marketing outing!
Week 34: This week I smiled when I found out Stephen and Rebecca are having a baby!
Week 35: This week I'm thankful for... my fantastic assignment :)
Week 36: This week I laughed when... I was at Grandma's.
Week 37: The best thing that happened this week was... having Steph come and visit!
Week 38 : This week I smiled when... we successfully threw a surprise party for Mom and Dad's 25th wedding anniversary!
Week 39: This week I'm thankful for... my family.
Week 40: This week I laughed when... I was watching 'The Office' at the gym.
Week 41: The best thing that happened this week was... working SNL and the epic After parties!
Week 42: This week I smiled when... I hung out with Greg and Cabral :)
Week 43: This week I'm thankful for... weekends!
Week 44: This week I laughed when... I went to dinner with everyone after the rally!
Week 45: The best thing that happened this week was... having a great weekend!
* names have been deleted to protect the stupid and innocent (namely me)
Now, I realize this is probably interesting to only me, but the lesson here?
1.) I use a lot of exclamation points.
2.) I use a lot of emoticons... even when I'm not typing.
3.) I've had a pretty great year and a half.
4.) I have a lot more to look forward to (exclamation point!)
Love,
Tara
9:03 PM This week I'm thankful for...
This past weekend while I was home in CT, I went shopping with my mom and she bought me...wait for it... a brand new Vera Bradley planner for 2011! It's beautiful and pink with lots of white swirly designs on it and has everything I need to take my OCD to whole new levels.
One thing I love about the planner is at the end of each week it poses a sort of fill in the blank. Written at the bottom of the page is something like "This week I'm thankful for..." and then you fill it whatever you like. As I transfer notes and important dates from my old planner to my new planner, I thought it might be interesting to look at all of my answers from the past year and a half. I haven't cheated and looked ahead yet. I'm a little scared...
Week 31: This week I'm thankful for... my friends!
Week 32: This week I laughed when... I watched Kaitlyn's play!
Week 33: The best thing that happened this week was... when I got an email from NBC asking me to interview for a job!
Week 34: This week I smiled when... I drove with Greg up to Boston to see Ally, Kelly + Szebs.
Week 35: This week I'm thankful for... my supportive, patient family.
Week 36: This week I laughed when... Christina called me!
Week 37: The best thing that happened this week was... getting together with Ally, A and Steph at Maxamore.
Week 38: This week I smiled when... I hear Candace Bushnell speak.
Week 39: This week I'm thankful for... my mom.
Week 40: This week I laughed when... I went to Ang's with Karen.
Week 41: The best thing that happened this week was... when * messaged me on Facebook :)
Week 42: This week I smiled when... * and I texted for five hours on Thursday :)
Week 43: This week I'm thankful for... the girls of 426 :)
Week 44: This week I laughed when... * was texting me on Wednesday.
Week 45: The best thing that happened this week was... getting out of a relationship that was going no where... even though it was hard!
Week 46: This week I smiled when... my Welcome Packet from NBC came :)
Week 47: This week I'm thankful for... the health of my friends and family.
Week 48: This week I laughed when... I spent time with good friends at South Tavern Wednesday night.
Week 49: The best thing that happened this week was... (possibly) finding a cool, normal roommate for NYC!
Week 50: This week I smiled when... I got to see everyone in COM :)
Week 51: This week I'm thankful for... my dad for always helping me out :)
Week 52: This week I laughed when... I saw Kaylee on Christmas.
Week 1: The best thing that happened this week was... laying by the pool in Key West.
Week 2: This week I smiled when... I told my family i got my start date from NBC.
Week 3: This week I'm thankful for... my dad, who is always there for me.
Week 4: This week I laughed when... I got to sit in the audience for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon!
Week 5: The best thing that happened this week was... getting to go home!
Week 6: This week I smiled when... I went out with everyone to the mentor/mentee dinner.
Week 7: This week I'm thankful for... my will to persevere!
Week 8: This week I laughed when... I saw 'Up In The Air.'
Week 9: The best thing that happened this week was... winning the Page of the Month award!!!!!!
Week 10: This week I smiled when... I got the Corp Comm assignment.
Week 11: This week I'm thankful for... days off!
Week 12: This week I laughed when... I went to Perdition with the pages Saturday night.
Week 13: The best thing that happened this week was... going to Katie's birthday party with the pages.
Week 14: This week I smiled when... my cousins came over for Easter :)
Week 15: This week I'm thankful for... my page friends :)
Week 16: This week I laughed when... I went to the Brooklyn Brewery with the pages.
Week 17: The best thing that happened this week was... having an awesome dinner with Liz!
Week 18: This week I smiled when... we were at No Idea for my birthday :)
Week 19: This week I'm thankful for... my mom <3
Week 20: This week I laughed when... I was at the SNL season finale After, After with all my friends!
Week 21: The best thing that happened this week was... getting Saturday TC!
Week 22: This week I smiled when... Corp Comm threw me a goodbye lunch!
Week 24: This week I laughed when... I was at the page council meeting.
Week 25: The best thing that happened this week was... getting to spend 3 days at home!
Week 26: This week I smiled when... * brought me strawberries.
Week 27: This week I'm thankful for... chick flicks :)
Week 28: This week I laughed when... I hung out with Arianna.
Week 29: The best thing that happened this week was... going to Stone Harbor with my family!
Week 30: This week I smiled when... I went to brunch with Mike and Kayla.
Week 31: This week I'm thankful for... good books!
Week 32: This week I laughed when... I saw Kaitlyn's play.
Week 33: The best thing that happened this week was... going on the Sports Marketing outing!
Week 34: This week I smiled when I found out Stephen and Rebecca are having a baby!
Week 35: This week I'm thankful for... my fantastic assignment :)
Week 36: This week I laughed when... I was at Grandma's.
Week 37: The best thing that happened this week was... having Steph come and visit!
Week 38 : This week I smiled when... we successfully threw a surprise party for Mom and Dad's 25th wedding anniversary!
Week 39: This week I'm thankful for... my family.
Week 40: This week I laughed when... I was watching 'The Office' at the gym.
Week 41: The best thing that happened this week was... working SNL and the epic After parties!
Week 42: This week I smiled when... I hung out with Greg and Cabral :)
Week 43: This week I'm thankful for... weekends!
Week 44: This week I laughed when... I went to dinner with everyone after the rally!
Week 45: The best thing that happened this week was... having a great weekend!
* names have been deleted to protect the stupid and innocent (namely me)
Now, I realize this is probably interesting to only me, but the lesson here?
1.) I use a lot of exclamation points.
2.) I use a lot of emoticons... even when I'm not typing.
3.) I've had a pretty great year and a half.
4.) I have a lot more to look forward to (exclamation point!)
Love,
Tara
Monday, November 15, 2010
It's Not You, It's Me.
Monday, November 15, 2010
8:56 PM ...and that includes you.
As I near the end of my month-long eHarm experiment, I've been trying to think about what my take-away will be. What's the moral of the story? The message, the theme, the reason? So far, the main thing I've realized is this: If over 200 guys are interested in you and want to get to know you and maybe start a relationship with you, and you can't find ONE that you would consider dating? Honey, it's not them - it's YOU.
I realized this like a week ago, but I couldn't figure out WHY I didn't like any of these guys. What was wrong with me?? I don't come from a broken home. I have a great relationship with my father. I'm not secretly in love with an ex or pining after a male friend, so WHAT was my deal??
It wasn't until just now, as I was eating dinner in bed while watching 'The Office,' that it struck me. I saw the clip below, where Jim talks to Dwight about heartbreak, and started to tear up mid-chew.
I imagine we all deal with heartbreak at some time in our lives, and, now that I think about it, there are few greater personal tragedies than that one. My own personal heartbreak was years ago, but recently I've watched my sister go through it for the first time, and in trying to be of some sort of sisterly help to her, all those awful feelings have come rushing back.
I remember what it's like to feel helpless. To feel lost. To feel just so sad to your very core. To wonder if you will ever feel better, normal, and to know on some level that you probably won't for a very long time.
And while every chick-flick will tell you that love is worth all the heartbreak that came before it, I just can't bring myself to consider it right now.
I'm happy with they way things are. I'm enough.
I don't ever want to find myself crying in a stairwell again.
Love,
Tara
8:56 PM ...and that includes you.
As I near the end of my month-long eHarm experiment, I've been trying to think about what my take-away will be. What's the moral of the story? The message, the theme, the reason? So far, the main thing I've realized is this: If over 200 guys are interested in you and want to get to know you and maybe start a relationship with you, and you can't find ONE that you would consider dating? Honey, it's not them - it's YOU.
I realized this like a week ago, but I couldn't figure out WHY I didn't like any of these guys. What was wrong with me?? I don't come from a broken home. I have a great relationship with my father. I'm not secretly in love with an ex or pining after a male friend, so WHAT was my deal??
It wasn't until just now, as I was eating dinner in bed while watching 'The Office,' that it struck me. I saw the clip below, where Jim talks to Dwight about heartbreak, and started to tear up mid-chew.
I imagine we all deal with heartbreak at some time in our lives, and, now that I think about it, there are few greater personal tragedies than that one. My own personal heartbreak was years ago, but recently I've watched my sister go through it for the first time, and in trying to be of some sort of sisterly help to her, all those awful feelings have come rushing back.
I remember what it's like to feel helpless. To feel lost. To feel just so sad to your very core. To wonder if you will ever feel better, normal, and to know on some level that you probably won't for a very long time.
And while every chick-flick will tell you that love is worth all the heartbreak that came before it, I just can't bring myself to consider it right now.
I'm happy with they way things are. I'm enough.
I don't ever want to find myself crying in a stairwell again.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Straight cash, homey.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
6:26 PM Are you ready for some football??
In honor of NFL Sunday (all I've done today is watch football), I thought I'd post a couple of football-related vids that make me smile.
(I know I'm supposed to hate him, but I can't help it. He's too badass. And he's on my fantasy football team...)
(First, I have loved this song since I was eight years old and heard it on 'The First Wives' Club.' Second, who doesn't love a girl in a jersey? Adding one women's Patriots jersey to my Christmas List...)
Love,
Tara
6:26 PM Are you ready for some football??
In honor of NFL Sunday (all I've done today is watch football), I thought I'd post a couple of football-related vids that make me smile.
(I know I'm supposed to hate him, but I can't help it. He's too badass. And he's on my fantasy football team...)
(First, I have loved this song since I was eight years old and heard it on 'The First Wives' Club.' Second, who doesn't love a girl in a jersey? Adding one women's Patriots jersey to my Christmas List...)
Love,
Tara
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Chastened
Thursday, November 4, 2010
10:01 PM Love your smile...
I'm turning into a slut. Seriously. I'm sorry to be crass, but I'm not sure how else to put it. I am a big eHarmony slut.
My tale is not an unusual one. I started as a naive, young girl who turned to the Internet to... well, to what? Find true love? Appease her curiosity? We'll never know for sure what prompted me to sign on to eHarmony that fateful night, but I did it, and now I can hardly recognize the woman I've become.
At first I didn't want to talk to anyone on eHarm. These men would send me their '5-Questions,' and I would ignore them. But slowly, I started to answer. If a guy looked nice (or normal) I would answer their multiple-choice questions. What's the harm? I thought to myself. I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
Because once you start turning tricks, er, I mean, answering questions, it's hard to stop. I liked the attention and I wanted more. I stopped discriminating so much. Pretty much if you were a guy and you asked me your 5-Questions I would answer. I had no limits. I was out of control.
Oh, the shame! It is only now, looking back, that I can see the error of my ways. The only way I feel I can make this right is by sharing some of the lessons I have learned. But will that be enough? I just don't know...
I could tell you about Stephen. Stephen seemed nice enough. He was tall, good-looking. He was a chef in New York City. He seemed to have a lot going for him. And he was a smooth-talker, that Stephen. He sent me his 5-Questions, and I answered. Then he sent me an Icebreaker. I didn't know what an Icebreaker was, but I learned a lot from Stephen. It was an eHarmony message that read, "Love your smile." Well, that got me smitten. Give a gal a compliment and that'll get you pretty far. It wasn't until we took things to the next stage, the "Must Haves/Can't Stands" stage that I noticed the red flag.
The "Must Haves/Can't Stands" stage is when you go through a list of attributes that eHarm puts together and you check off ten that your ideal partner must have and ten that they must not. "Must Haves" include everything from "Confidence" to "Good Hygiene" whereas "Can't Stands" are like "Racial Intolerance" and "Addictions" (imagine having to pick which one you "can't stand" more...). Well, after that Icebreaker I got bold and sent Stephen my lists. I was in too deep, playing fast and loose. There was no saving me now.
The red flag came when I received Stephen's list and saw that as his first choice for his "Must Haves" he had selected "Sexually Knowledgeable." The description for this attribute reads, "I must have someone who is mature and experienced as a potential sexual partner and is able to express himself/herself freely."
Now, don't get me wrong, sexual expression is all well and good but would I call myself "mature" and "experienced"?! Do I want to be with a guy who needs that?? Or is willing to put that on paper as one of the top ten things he MUST have??!? He could have chosen "Kind" or "Affectionate" or even "Passionate," but he had to go and choose "Sexually Knowledgeable."
Red. Flag.
But how could this be? Things with Stephen were going so well. And he did send me that sweet Icebreaker, after all. I went back to read the Icebreaker for reassurance. That's when I realized... he hadn't written that Icebreaker at all. He had merely selected it from a list of options eHarm gave him. There it was: "Love your smile" right between "Want to chat?" and "I think we have a lot in common." I was devastated.
I could also tell you about John. John seemed nice enough. He sent me his questions, I sent him mine. It was the same old routine. But then he switched things up and sent me an eHarmony email. Normally I rejected guys right away when they asked me to do those kinds of things, but there was something about John that made me willing to experiment. The email was nice too. He said he didn't really like all the weird eHarm questions and he just wanted to talk. Then he asked for my phone number.
Now, that was just too much for a nice girl like me. I may answer any guy's questions, but I still have some limits. There are some things I just won't do. So, I emailed him back and told him I was still kind of new to all this and that I'd rather we just emailed. He wrote back and told me he totally understood. What a relief! Then he asked for my screen name.
Red. Flag.
If we've barely started getting to know each other and you're already incapable of listening to what I'm saying, that does not bode well for our future relationship. You should at least pretend to listen at first. Humor me.
I could tell you more stories, but I'll spare you. The moral of these stories is, I'm taking a little break from eHarm. But don't worry. The experiment isn't over -- I've still got two weeks to go. I just need to regroup. De-slut. You know.
There's a section in everyone's eHarm profile where you can write a little paragraph about the last interesting book you read. I'm currently reading "Chastened" by Hephzibah Anderson, a true story about a 30-year-old single writer who goes one year without having sex.
I'm thinking of adding that to my profile.
Love,
Tara
10:01 PM Love your smile...
I'm turning into a slut. Seriously. I'm sorry to be crass, but I'm not sure how else to put it. I am a big eHarmony slut.
My tale is not an unusual one. I started as a naive, young girl who turned to the Internet to... well, to what? Find true love? Appease her curiosity? We'll never know for sure what prompted me to sign on to eHarmony that fateful night, but I did it, and now I can hardly recognize the woman I've become.
At first I didn't want to talk to anyone on eHarm. These men would send me their '5-Questions,' and I would ignore them. But slowly, I started to answer. If a guy looked nice (or normal) I would answer their multiple-choice questions. What's the harm? I thought to myself. I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
Because once you start turning tricks, er, I mean, answering questions, it's hard to stop. I liked the attention and I wanted more. I stopped discriminating so much. Pretty much if you were a guy and you asked me your 5-Questions I would answer. I had no limits. I was out of control.
Oh, the shame! It is only now, looking back, that I can see the error of my ways. The only way I feel I can make this right is by sharing some of the lessons I have learned. But will that be enough? I just don't know...
I could tell you about Stephen. Stephen seemed nice enough. He was tall, good-looking. He was a chef in New York City. He seemed to have a lot going for him. And he was a smooth-talker, that Stephen. He sent me his 5-Questions, and I answered. Then he sent me an Icebreaker. I didn't know what an Icebreaker was, but I learned a lot from Stephen. It was an eHarmony message that read, "Love your smile." Well, that got me smitten. Give a gal a compliment and that'll get you pretty far. It wasn't until we took things to the next stage, the "Must Haves/Can't Stands" stage that I noticed the red flag.
The "Must Haves/Can't Stands" stage is when you go through a list of attributes that eHarm puts together and you check off ten that your ideal partner must have and ten that they must not. "Must Haves" include everything from "Confidence" to "Good Hygiene" whereas "Can't Stands" are like "Racial Intolerance" and "Addictions" (imagine having to pick which one you "can't stand" more...). Well, after that Icebreaker I got bold and sent Stephen my lists. I was in too deep, playing fast and loose. There was no saving me now.
The red flag came when I received Stephen's list and saw that as his first choice for his "Must Haves" he had selected "Sexually Knowledgeable." The description for this attribute reads, "I must have someone who is mature and experienced as a potential sexual partner and is able to express himself/herself freely."
Now, don't get me wrong, sexual expression is all well and good but would I call myself "mature" and "experienced"?! Do I want to be with a guy who needs that?? Or is willing to put that on paper as one of the top ten things he MUST have??!? He could have chosen "Kind" or "Affectionate" or even "Passionate," but he had to go and choose "Sexually Knowledgeable."
Red. Flag.
But how could this be? Things with Stephen were going so well. And he did send me that sweet Icebreaker, after all. I went back to read the Icebreaker for reassurance. That's when I realized... he hadn't written that Icebreaker at all. He had merely selected it from a list of options eHarm gave him. There it was: "Love your smile" right between "Want to chat?" and "I think we have a lot in common." I was devastated.
I could also tell you about John. John seemed nice enough. He sent me his questions, I sent him mine. It was the same old routine. But then he switched things up and sent me an eHarmony email. Normally I rejected guys right away when they asked me to do those kinds of things, but there was something about John that made me willing to experiment. The email was nice too. He said he didn't really like all the weird eHarm questions and he just wanted to talk. Then he asked for my phone number.
Now, that was just too much for a nice girl like me. I may answer any guy's questions, but I still have some limits. There are some things I just won't do. So, I emailed him back and told him I was still kind of new to all this and that I'd rather we just emailed. He wrote back and told me he totally understood. What a relief! Then he asked for my screen name.
Red. Flag.
If we've barely started getting to know each other and you're already incapable of listening to what I'm saying, that does not bode well for our future relationship. You should at least pretend to listen at first. Humor me.
I could tell you more stories, but I'll spare you. The moral of these stories is, I'm taking a little break from eHarm. But don't worry. The experiment isn't over -- I've still got two weeks to go. I just need to regroup. De-slut. You know.
There's a section in everyone's eHarm profile where you can write a little paragraph about the last interesting book you read. I'm currently reading "Chastened" by Hephzibah Anderson, a true story about a 30-year-old single writer who goes one year without having sex.
I'm thinking of adding that to my profile.
Love,
Tara
Monday, November 1, 2010
"If you keep shouting like that, you'll get big muscles all over your face."
Monday, November 1, 2010
8:53 PM Restore Sanity!
This weekend I was lucky enough to get to go to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear in Washington DC. While I never felt insane (so I guess the rally did its job), I did experience a number of other emotions during my 24 hours in the D to the C. To help me bullet-point the weekend, I'll be using the assistance of Plutchik and his Wheel of Emotions.
Joy ...when the rally began!
Trust ...when a cab driver rescued me when I was lost in the outskirts of DC.
Fear ...when I was lost in DC and thought I was going to miss the after-party!
Surprise ...when I ran into Grandma, Leo, Robbi and Co. outside of The Old Ebbitt Grill.
Sadness ...when dinner was over on Saturday night.
Disgust ...when I saw a FOX News truck.
Anger ...when I was lost in DC and hadn't peed in like nine hours.
Anticipation ...another rally next year?!?!
Love,
Tara
8:53 PM Restore Sanity!
Joy ...when the rally began!
Trust ...when a cab driver rescued me when I was lost in the outskirts of DC.
Fear ...when I was lost in DC and thought I was going to miss the after-party!
Surprise ...when I ran into Grandma, Leo, Robbi and Co. outside of The Old Ebbitt Grill.
Sadness ...when dinner was over on Saturday night.
Disgust ...when I saw a FOX News truck.
Anger ...when I was lost in DC and hadn't peed in like nine hours.
Anticipation ...another rally next year?!?!
Love,
Tara
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
