For Every Former Hot Child

Friday, January 21, 2011
10:05 PM Ohhh, I'm not sure how to write this...

I moved to New York a year ago this past weekend. Today would have been my last day as a page. I feel like I should be feeling something definitive about this anniversary, but I just feel a lot of things: a little sad, a little sentimental, a little awestruck... but mostly kind of tired with an achy back. Is that how you know you're a grown up? When the only feeling you can focus on is which body part is aching? Maybe I have come full circle.

Anyway, the past year has been a big one for me. When I think back on where I was a year ago and where I am now... it's kind of awesome. I just keep thinking, It all worked out. And it didn't just work out -- it far exceeded my expectations.

I'm an adult now, and I actually feel like an adult. I have a job. I'm financially independent. I live in my own apartment in New York City. I pay bills. I fix leaky toilets. I kill roaches like it's a second job. I take pilates classes and go grocery shopping. I do work I'm proud of. I wear pencil skirts and heels for Christ's Sake!

And, as is usually the case, I'm still figuring it all out. Going home to CT is still a giant relief - not just because I get to see my family, but because it means for one weekend every several weeks I get to take a break from being an adult. I get to eat free food from a kitchen that actually has something other than crackers and diet Coke. I get to sleep in a room where I'm not woken up by drunk people screaming in the street. I get to shower in a bathroom that is huge and beautiful and always has hot water. It's a vacation every time I'm home.

But I'm getting pretty good at the adult thing. And while I still may eat salad from a mug to avoid washing a bowl and only vacuum when the hair balls on the carpet become visible from the next room, I take a lot of pride in everything I've done.

As far as writing goes, I think I'm going to stop blogging for a while. As you've noticed, my posts have become more infrequent and less inspired. It's not that I don't enjoy writing about my life anymore -- it's just that I've been out living it. And I'm finding that the stuff I do want to write about probably shouldn't be posted on a blog (I do have limits, believe it or not). I think I may eventually start a Tumblr, a la Little Gman. That way I can post my random thoughts and write when I feel like it. We'll see...

I'll leave you with one final story, for now... Last weekend, the anniversary of my own Great Move, I was home in Gbury because I got Monday off. Mom dropped me off at the train station Monday afternoon, and after waiting for a half hour, I found out my train had been delayed 2 hours. I was told my best bet was to buy a bus ticket to NYC instead, so, much to my dismay, that's what I did. As I stood with all of my bags in the freezing cold in a line of 50 other impatient travelers, a guy walked by me carrying a Whole Foods paper bag. Just as he passed, the bottom of the bag gave out. A large glass bottle broke and a liter of liquid gushed onto the cement, puddling around my feet.

It was about 5 seconds later, when the smell hit me, that I realized what the liquid was. And I had to laugh because the scene was perfectly symbolic of my life right now...

In transition, New York-bound, weighed down, waiting, laughing...

...and standing in a pool of tequila.

Love always,
La Viajera