Sunday, March 28, 2010
7:56 PM ...
There's this thing we do on our tours, when we get to the end, where everyone gets to take a picture behind an anchor desk. It's not that exciting and you have to pay like twenty dollars to actually get the picture in the end, but we have to have everyone do it, so we ask the group to break up into small groups of people that they came with, and then to file in, group by group, to take the picture. And lately we've been having a lot of school groups, like groups from high schools around the country and stuff, because it's Spring Break season, so asking them to break into small groups always leads to a lot of drama because these girls don't want to be in a picture with those girls, and this guy shouldn't be in a picture with those guys because they're totally not friends etc etc, you know what I mean.
And always, always there is one lonely guy or two awkward looking girls who get stuck taking the picture alone, while everyone looks on. And I try my best to be a distraction to the group or to make the lonely guy or the awkward girls feel a little better, but nothing I can say takes away the embarrassment of sitting there alone, squinting under the hot studio lights while everyone watches and snickers. Because what I want to say is this: It's not always going to be like this. It's going to get better. Someday those guys laughing at you aren't going to matter at all. It's going to be okay.
But I can't and it breaks my heart every single time.
Love,
Tara
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
"How People Treat You...
Sunday, March 21, 2010
5:54 PM ...is their karma; how you react is yours." - Wayne Dyer
I am emotionally drained. This week has been full of the highest highs and the lowest lows. I don't know how to react to anything anymore! Someone tells a funny joke, and I find myself wanting to cry. I get yelled at at work, and I find it hard not to laugh. What is going on in my life?!!? I feel like a kid at a carnival who's lost her parents. She's scared and crying, but she can't help but be distracted by the lights on the merry-go-round. Does that even make sense? No, probably not. Good Lord.
Anyway, to demonstrate the ridiculousness that has been this past week, I am going to tell you two very different stories...
A Low
After a truly horrible day at work on Wednesday, I walked home, blinking back tears. Hungry, exhausted, I slammed around my kitchen, eventually tossing a frozen vegetarian-steak dinner into the microwave (BAD call, by the way). Mom called while I was watching the tray rotate in the microwave, and, half-crying, half-yelling, I told her about my awful day. I even swore - something I never do in front of my mother. Usually venting puts me in a better mood, but today it just made things worse. I hung up the phone, threw away my dinner, and fell asleep on my bed with my makeup still on.
The next morning I woke up, my head aching from crying. I had managed to tear the contacts from my eyes before passing out the night before, so I squinted at the clock on my dresser, trying to make out the time. It read 5:45. That couldn't be right...I was seeing it wrong. Unalarmed, I sat up slightly, and squinted harder. 5:45. What day is it? I thought, reaching to my desk for my phone. What's happening? It couldn't be 5:45. I had set my alarm for 4:30, so I could be to work by 6. I was supposed to leave my apartment by 5:45. I hit a button on my phone, and it lit up immediately. 5:46 AM. My hands started to shake. March 18. Thursday. My alarm hadn't gone off.
Now please believe me when I tell you, I NEVER miss my alarm. In high school and in college I was always good about getting up with my alarm. In fact, I HATE when people use missing their alarm as an excuse for being late. My philosophy is this: If it's important enough to you, you'll make sure you get up. This all goes out the window, though, when you forget to set your alarm in the first place.
Shaking and near tears once again, I leapt from my bed and started grabbing dirty clothes off of my bedroom floor. I was going to be fired. There was no way I would make it to work on time. I wasn't going to be a page anymore! These thoughts just made things worse as I hopped around my room, pulling on pantyhose. So, to stay focused... I talked to myself. Like a crazy person. Fortunately, Wen was away on spring break so she didn't have to hear her crazy roommate running through the apartment, flicking on lights and soothingly saying things to herself like, "It's okay, Tara. It's going to be okay. Now, where's your shirt? You need to wear a shirt. Okay, good. We're going to do this. Okay, now where are your pants?"
Unshowered, hair and teeth unbrushed, I flew out of my apartment by 5:55 AM. I got a cab in seconds and was at work by 6:05. The first morning press went out by 6:20, right on time, and nobody was the wiser. In fact, by the time my boss got in at 8, I had managed to fix my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face and apply foundation and mascara. If it hadn't been such a terrifying, emotionally scarring experience, I might have been proud of myself. But for the most part? Worst. Morning. Ever.
A High
Friday afternoon at work. The day was already exceedingly better than Thursday, simply because I had woken up on time. I had even had time to shave my legs the night before (!), so I was wearing a new dress I had bought recently. I got up from my desk to hand something to my boss and happened to glance down the hallway. I noticed someone in a page uniform. Puzzled to see a fellow page, in uniform, on my floor, I took a couple steps closer and realized it was my friend Mike. He was wandering through the department, looking over the tops of cubicles. "Mike! What are you doing??" I loudly whispered.
"Oh hey, can you come here for a sec?" he asked, before immediately turning and walking away. Totally confused, I told my boss I'd be right back, and walked toward where Mike had been standing. By the time I got there, he was already disappearing around another corner. I felt like I was chasing him! Running to catch up, I almost bumped into him when I turned the corner to the elevator bank to find him standing there with my two other friends, Kayla and Yosef.
They had snuck to the 10th floor to surprise me! Once I realized what was going on I started hugging them and laughing and trying not to cry (shockerrrr).
"We wanted to surprise you and tell you that we miss you and everything's going to be okay," said Kayla, handing me a box from Magnolia Bakery that contained to adorable little cupcakes.
"We knew if we told you we were coming, you would have told us not to come," Yosef explained. Hence the surprise. They weren't sure how they were going to lure me away from my desk though, or where my desk was for that matter, so they had sent Mike in to do some reconnaissance work, and luckily I saw him. I was only able to spend a few minutes with them outside the elevators, for fear of getting caught, but in that brief time we all celebrated Kayla and Mike getting their new assignments that day. And in that brief time, really for the first time since moving here, I felt like I had real friends. They knew I'd been having a rough time, and they went through a lot to let me know they were there for me. I don't think I will ever forget walking into the elevator bank and seeing the three of them standing there, all with huge, mischevious grins on their faces.
**
Eventually the feeling of panic I experienced when I woke up late on Thursday will fade. But the goosebumps I get when I think about my friends surprising me keep coming back.
And thus, the good always manages to outweigh the bad.
Who knew cupcakes could do all that?
Love,
Tara
5:54 PM ...is their karma; how you react is yours." - Wayne Dyer
I am emotionally drained. This week has been full of the highest highs and the lowest lows. I don't know how to react to anything anymore! Someone tells a funny joke, and I find myself wanting to cry. I get yelled at at work, and I find it hard not to laugh. What is going on in my life?!!? I feel like a kid at a carnival who's lost her parents. She's scared and crying, but she can't help but be distracted by the lights on the merry-go-round. Does that even make sense? No, probably not. Good Lord.
Anyway, to demonstrate the ridiculousness that has been this past week, I am going to tell you two very different stories...
A Low
After a truly horrible day at work on Wednesday, I walked home, blinking back tears. Hungry, exhausted, I slammed around my kitchen, eventually tossing a frozen vegetarian-steak dinner into the microwave (BAD call, by the way). Mom called while I was watching the tray rotate in the microwave, and, half-crying, half-yelling, I told her about my awful day. I even swore - something I never do in front of my mother. Usually venting puts me in a better mood, but today it just made things worse. I hung up the phone, threw away my dinner, and fell asleep on my bed with my makeup still on.
The next morning I woke up, my head aching from crying. I had managed to tear the contacts from my eyes before passing out the night before, so I squinted at the clock on my dresser, trying to make out the time. It read 5:45. That couldn't be right...I was seeing it wrong. Unalarmed, I sat up slightly, and squinted harder. 5:45. What day is it? I thought, reaching to my desk for my phone. What's happening? It couldn't be 5:45. I had set my alarm for 4:30, so I could be to work by 6. I was supposed to leave my apartment by 5:45. I hit a button on my phone, and it lit up immediately. 5:46 AM. My hands started to shake. March 18. Thursday. My alarm hadn't gone off.
Now please believe me when I tell you, I NEVER miss my alarm. In high school and in college I was always good about getting up with my alarm. In fact, I HATE when people use missing their alarm as an excuse for being late. My philosophy is this: If it's important enough to you, you'll make sure you get up. This all goes out the window, though, when you forget to set your alarm in the first place.
Shaking and near tears once again, I leapt from my bed and started grabbing dirty clothes off of my bedroom floor. I was going to be fired. There was no way I would make it to work on time. I wasn't going to be a page anymore! These thoughts just made things worse as I hopped around my room, pulling on pantyhose. So, to stay focused... I talked to myself. Like a crazy person. Fortunately, Wen was away on spring break so she didn't have to hear her crazy roommate running through the apartment, flicking on lights and soothingly saying things to herself like, "It's okay, Tara. It's going to be okay. Now, where's your shirt? You need to wear a shirt. Okay, good. We're going to do this. Okay, now where are your pants?"
Unshowered, hair and teeth unbrushed, I flew out of my apartment by 5:55 AM. I got a cab in seconds and was at work by 6:05. The first morning press went out by 6:20, right on time, and nobody was the wiser. In fact, by the time my boss got in at 8, I had managed to fix my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face and apply foundation and mascara. If it hadn't been such a terrifying, emotionally scarring experience, I might have been proud of myself. But for the most part? Worst. Morning. Ever.
A High
Friday afternoon at work. The day was already exceedingly better than Thursday, simply because I had woken up on time. I had even had time to shave my legs the night before (!), so I was wearing a new dress I had bought recently. I got up from my desk to hand something to my boss and happened to glance down the hallway. I noticed someone in a page uniform. Puzzled to see a fellow page, in uniform, on my floor, I took a couple steps closer and realized it was my friend Mike. He was wandering through the department, looking over the tops of cubicles. "Mike! What are you doing??" I loudly whispered.
"Oh hey, can you come here for a sec?" he asked, before immediately turning and walking away. Totally confused, I told my boss I'd be right back, and walked toward where Mike had been standing. By the time I got there, he was already disappearing around another corner. I felt like I was chasing him! Running to catch up, I almost bumped into him when I turned the corner to the elevator bank to find him standing there with my two other friends, Kayla and Yosef.
They had snuck to the 10th floor to surprise me! Once I realized what was going on I started hugging them and laughing and trying not to cry (shockerrrr).
"We wanted to surprise you and tell you that we miss you and everything's going to be okay," said Kayla, handing me a box from Magnolia Bakery that contained to adorable little cupcakes.
"We knew if we told you we were coming, you would have told us not to come," Yosef explained. Hence the surprise. They weren't sure how they were going to lure me away from my desk though, or where my desk was for that matter, so they had sent Mike in to do some reconnaissance work, and luckily I saw him. I was only able to spend a few minutes with them outside the elevators, for fear of getting caught, but in that brief time we all celebrated Kayla and Mike getting their new assignments that day. And in that brief time, really for the first time since moving here, I felt like I had real friends. They knew I'd been having a rough time, and they went through a lot to let me know they were there for me. I don't think I will ever forget walking into the elevator bank and seeing the three of them standing there, all with huge, mischevious grins on their faces.
**
Eventually the feeling of panic I experienced when I woke up late on Thursday will fade. But the goosebumps I get when I think about my friends surprising me keep coming back.
And thus, the good always manages to outweigh the bad.
Who knew cupcakes could do all that?
Love,
Tara
Sunday, March 14, 2010
OK... GO!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
9:16 PM I have to go to bed now...
I tweeted about this video a few days ago, but I think it deserves a little blog recognition. Not just because it's one of the coolest things I've ever seen, but because of the message in the song itself. The title of the song is "This Too Shall Pass," and I've been listening to it pretty much non-stop for the past week or so. While I don't think life should be something you're just trying to "get through," I think we go through some more challenging periods - times when you have to bow your head down and walk into the wind. I like this song because it delivers that message while remaining upbeat: events in your life can be challenging, but if you let go of the suffering and complaining and just ride the wave, you can make them so much more enjoyable. All this is easier said than done, of course, but it helps when you have this song on full blast.
I started a new assignment with corporate communications last week, and I have VERY little free time anymore. I LOVE the job, which is so great. The 12 plus hour days absolutely fly by, and I love everything I'm doing, but it leaves little time for anything else... like cleaning or shopping or even socializing. I get up every morning at 4:30 AM, which means I need to be to bed pretty early at night in order to get enough sleep. It's tough, but I love it. I really do.
So after just surviving a 76 hour work week (I still tour and work SNL on weekends), I apologize if this isn't the most coherent blog post. To be honest, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I have a headache, I haven't done laundry in like a month, I still kill lone cockroaches on a regular basis, and I haven't been to a gym in longer than I care to tell you, but I haven't felt this ALIVE in a very long time. I realized that while I was walking home from work in the pouring rain on Friday night. I could have easily hailed a cab, but letting myself get completely drenched while listening to this song on my Ipod was just about the best feeling in the world.
Anyway, just watch the video. I love how it shows that little things can make a big difference. And that most of the time, life is crazy and awesome and GOOD.
Love,
Tara
9:16 PM I have to go to bed now...
I tweeted about this video a few days ago, but I think it deserves a little blog recognition. Not just because it's one of the coolest things I've ever seen, but because of the message in the song itself. The title of the song is "This Too Shall Pass," and I've been listening to it pretty much non-stop for the past week or so. While I don't think life should be something you're just trying to "get through," I think we go through some more challenging periods - times when you have to bow your head down and walk into the wind. I like this song because it delivers that message while remaining upbeat: events in your life can be challenging, but if you let go of the suffering and complaining and just ride the wave, you can make them so much more enjoyable. All this is easier said than done, of course, but it helps when you have this song on full blast.
I started a new assignment with corporate communications last week, and I have VERY little free time anymore. I LOVE the job, which is so great. The 12 plus hour days absolutely fly by, and I love everything I'm doing, but it leaves little time for anything else... like cleaning or shopping or even socializing. I get up every morning at 4:30 AM, which means I need to be to bed pretty early at night in order to get enough sleep. It's tough, but I love it. I really do.
So after just surviving a 76 hour work week (I still tour and work SNL on weekends), I apologize if this isn't the most coherent blog post. To be honest, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I have a headache, I haven't done laundry in like a month, I still kill lone cockroaches on a regular basis, and I haven't been to a gym in longer than I care to tell you, but I haven't felt this ALIVE in a very long time. I realized that while I was walking home from work in the pouring rain on Friday night. I could have easily hailed a cab, but letting myself get completely drenched while listening to this song on my Ipod was just about the best feeling in the world.
Anyway, just watch the video. I love how it shows that little things can make a big difference. And that most of the time, life is crazy and awesome and GOOD.
Love,
Tara
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
You Got A Boyfriend?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
4:55 pm Is there something in the water?
I don't know what it is that has men everywhere asking me this question, but I know I don't like it. On tour. Out with friends. Hanging out of their cars as I walk down the street. It seems everywhere I go, there's a man who wants to know the answer to, "You got a boyfriend??"
And I get it. I mean, it's not the most clever pick-up line I've ever heard. But it's direct. It cuts to the chase. Personally, I'm a fan of "What's your sign?" but with this pick-up line, the guy is saying, in very few words, "Look, I find you sexually attractive, but there are a lot of other not-unfortunate-looking girls here, so I'd rather know now if you're taken or not interested, so I don't waste my time." And I'd rather not waste my time either! But this pick-up line is a two-parter. And the other part is where the trouble is.
The girl can answer one of two ways. She (I) can lie. She can say she's taken: "Sorry. Yes, I do, in fact, have a boyfriend." But this never works. Why? Because men hear what they want to hear. He heard the word, "Yes," an affirmative statment, and twists that in his brain to mean something good... for him. The guy, inevitably, still thinks he has a chance. So, the questions follow: Where is he tonight? How long you been together? Are you happy? You ever wish you were broken up? Is it an open relationship? These questions are stressful and annoying, especially when you're searching for the answers regarding a guy and a relationship that you made up! Oh, what a tangled web...
So, the other way to answer is to tell the truth. You take a long gulp from your drink, turn to the creeper, and say, "No. I don't have a boyfriend." And usually, in my experience, the guy is so taken aback and confused by the fact that you said no but somehow still aren't throwing yourself at him, that he doesn't say anything. The first time this happened to me, I thought I was in the clear. Honesty really is the best policy! I'm free! I'm free! But then the guy, inevitably, recovers. And it's the question that follows that's the worst question of all. Suddenly the idea will strike him, he will grin triumphantly and say, "Why not?"
"Why not?" A simple question, but oh so dangerous. Because when a guy utters these words he has completely taken control of the conversation. By asking, "Why not?" he's implying that it's hard for him to understand why you wouldn't have a boyfriend. He's paying you a compliment, but he wants you to explain. Know this, ladies: It's a trick! No matter how you answer this question, you will be putting yourself down, making yourself that much more vulnerable to Creeper Joe, emotional terrorist. There is NO good way to answer this question.
Let me show you. The girl will answer one of three ways:
Ex. A) She'll say something self-degrading: "Oh, well, I, I work a lot. Yeah, ha, I don't really have a life. I work all the time. I never have time to meet guys. Wow, am I talking a lot?"
Ex. B) She'll say something sarcastic and bitchy: "Why don't you tell me? You're a guy. Why don't you go ask all your bros what the deal is!"
And when experience has taught her that being self-degrading doesn't work and being sarcastic and bitchy doesn't work, she'll resort to Ex. C, The Truth. It's the honest answer, but it's probably the hardest thing to admit to yourself, let alone Creeper Joe. It's the sad truth that makes you want to leave the bar, the tour, the street, immediately to go lay in bed and stare at the ceiling.
Ex. C) She'll shrug and say, "...I don't know."
Love,
Tara
4:55 pm Is there something in the water?
I don't know what it is that has men everywhere asking me this question, but I know I don't like it. On tour. Out with friends. Hanging out of their cars as I walk down the street. It seems everywhere I go, there's a man who wants to know the answer to, "You got a boyfriend??"
And I get it. I mean, it's not the most clever pick-up line I've ever heard. But it's direct. It cuts to the chase. Personally, I'm a fan of "What's your sign?" but with this pick-up line, the guy is saying, in very few words, "Look, I find you sexually attractive, but there are a lot of other not-unfortunate-looking girls here, so I'd rather know now if you're taken or not interested, so I don't waste my time." And I'd rather not waste my time either! But this pick-up line is a two-parter. And the other part is where the trouble is.
The girl can answer one of two ways. She (I) can lie. She can say she's taken: "Sorry. Yes, I do, in fact, have a boyfriend." But this never works. Why? Because men hear what they want to hear. He heard the word, "Yes," an affirmative statment, and twists that in his brain to mean something good... for him. The guy, inevitably, still thinks he has a chance. So, the questions follow: Where is he tonight? How long you been together? Are you happy? You ever wish you were broken up? Is it an open relationship? These questions are stressful and annoying, especially when you're searching for the answers regarding a guy and a relationship that you made up! Oh, what a tangled web...
So, the other way to answer is to tell the truth. You take a long gulp from your drink, turn to the creeper, and say, "No. I don't have a boyfriend." And usually, in my experience, the guy is so taken aback and confused by the fact that you said no but somehow still aren't throwing yourself at him, that he doesn't say anything. The first time this happened to me, I thought I was in the clear. Honesty really is the best policy! I'm free! I'm free! But then the guy, inevitably, recovers. And it's the question that follows that's the worst question of all. Suddenly the idea will strike him, he will grin triumphantly and say, "Why not?"
"Why not?" A simple question, but oh so dangerous. Because when a guy utters these words he has completely taken control of the conversation. By asking, "Why not?" he's implying that it's hard for him to understand why you wouldn't have a boyfriend. He's paying you a compliment, but he wants you to explain. Know this, ladies: It's a trick! No matter how you answer this question, you will be putting yourself down, making yourself that much more vulnerable to Creeper Joe, emotional terrorist. There is NO good way to answer this question.
Let me show you. The girl will answer one of three ways:
Ex. A) She'll say something self-degrading: "Oh, well, I, I work a lot. Yeah, ha, I don't really have a life. I work all the time. I never have time to meet guys. Wow, am I talking a lot?"
Ex. B) She'll say something sarcastic and bitchy: "Why don't you tell me? You're a guy. Why don't you go ask all your bros what the deal is!"
And when experience has taught her that being self-degrading doesn't work and being sarcastic and bitchy doesn't work, she'll resort to Ex. C, The Truth. It's the honest answer, but it's probably the hardest thing to admit to yourself, let alone Creeper Joe. It's the sad truth that makes you want to leave the bar, the tour, the street, immediately to go lay in bed and stare at the ceiling.
Ex. C) She'll shrug and say, "...I don't know."
Love,
Tara
Monday, March 1, 2010
In Like a Lion
Monday, March 1, 2010
12:30 AM Rabbit, Rabbit!
So far this "trusting the Universe" thing is really working out for me. I had a fantastic week, and I'm in a fantastic mood. The week started off right by getting to visit Steph in Boston. I had Monday off, so I took a bus back to Boston Monday morning and spent the rest of the day trying to get organized. Tuesday was a regular day at work, but I had extended Ticket Office, which is always entertaining. People call asking for everything besides tickets to shows we are able to provide tickets for. They want to know how to get tickets to 'The View' (not on our network), or tickets to 'The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien' (no longer in existence), or they want you to book them on a show... as a guest. People are ridiculous, but they are entertaining. And they crack me up. It's good to be able to laugh at work.
On Wednesday I had a resume review, which was really helpful. I finally feel like my resume is up to par, and I can start applying to assignments. I'm applying to my first one tomorrow, so wish me luck! Since I'm considered "young" in the program, a lot of positions aren't open to me yet, but I'm really excited about this one. At the very least it's good to get my name out there and maybe get some interview experience.
Thursday was probably the best day this week though... At the monthly meeting I found out I got the award for 'Page of the Month,' officially named the 'Performance Award for Outstanding Tour Operations.' I was absolutely shocked and thought I was going to start crying in the middle of the meeting! I went all red and started shaking and stuttering. When I recovered, I found out that I got a certificate, a $50 American Express gift card and... A SHINY NEW PIN FOR MY PAGE JACKET!!! I was more excited about the pin than anything else! Anyway, the award is given away each month and it goes to the page who receives the most positive comments on comment cards left by guests who take the studio tours. Considering I've only been touring for a month, it was a pretty big deal! In a job like mine, where you're not given a lot of feedback on a regular basis, it was nice to get a "pat on the back." It's a pretty cool honor that still makes me smile as a write about it :)
Nothing could really top Thursday, but the week continued to be great. Friday night there was a huge party in honor of two older pages who are graduating from the program, and it was a really great night. Pages know how to party! I've definitely met my kind of people :) We started at an apartment and then moved on to a bar called Carnival, which is a bar that is full of carnival games! It was too cool. I only wish I could have stayed later... but I had to tour at 9 am the next day!
Saturday tours went along smoothly, despite the lack of sleep from the night before, and that evening Maria came to see me! I hadn't seen her since July, so it was great to catch up over dinner. She introduced me to Four Square, which I am now absolutely obsessed with. After dinner we went to a bar, where Erin met us, but I left around 11 pm because I was having trouble staying awake! I came home, got in my jammies, and watched Saturday Night Live until I fell asleep. It was the first SNL that I didn't have to work, so it was funny to watch the show, knowing all the craziness that is happening behind the scenes!
This morning (er, ok, afternoon) I woke up after a solid 11 hours of sleep and felt like a new person. I hung around all day, watching the Olympics, cleaning my room, and eventually wandering over to the grocery store to pick up some baking supplies. I Skyped with Mom, Dad, and Kaitlyn and watched the USA v. Canada game, and then Mike met me at my apartment, and we went to Ost Cafe down on E. 12th St. We had a really nice time sipping wine and talking about our friends from home. When I got back, I had a late dinner, Skyped with Steph, and baked a DELISH Apple Cinnamon Crumb Cake. Most of it came in a prepackaged Pillsbury bread mix box, but I'm still pretty proud of myself for taking it from Apple Cinnamon Bread to Apple Cinnamon Crumb Cake. Making it was even more of a challenge than I anticipated because I realized shortly into the process that I had nothing to measure any of the ingredients with! I also don't have a thermometer for my oven, so the whole thing was a guessing game. It came out great though, and my whole apartment smells deliciously apple-cinnamony.
I have tomorrow off, as well, and I'm hoping to be uber-productive... once I spend a bit more time catching up on sleep. This coming week should be good too -- Jess is coming to see Late Night on Thursday, and I'll be getting together with the girls of 426 next Saturday. I feel like I'm finally comfortable and may even be (dare I say it?) hitting my stride here in NYC.
The thing that makes me the happiest, though?
I haven't seen a cockroach in two weeks :-D
Love,
Tara
12:30 AM Rabbit, Rabbit!
So far this "trusting the Universe" thing is really working out for me. I had a fantastic week, and I'm in a fantastic mood. The week started off right by getting to visit Steph in Boston. I had Monday off, so I took a bus back to Boston Monday morning and spent the rest of the day trying to get organized. Tuesday was a regular day at work, but I had extended Ticket Office, which is always entertaining. People call asking for everything besides tickets to shows we are able to provide tickets for. They want to know how to get tickets to 'The View' (not on our network), or tickets to 'The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien' (no longer in existence), or they want you to book them on a show... as a guest. People are ridiculous, but they are entertaining. And they crack me up. It's good to be able to laugh at work.
On Wednesday I had a resume review, which was really helpful. I finally feel like my resume is up to par, and I can start applying to assignments. I'm applying to my first one tomorrow, so wish me luck! Since I'm considered "young" in the program, a lot of positions aren't open to me yet, but I'm really excited about this one. At the very least it's good to get my name out there and maybe get some interview experience.
Thursday was probably the best day this week though... At the monthly meeting I found out I got the award for 'Page of the Month,' officially named the 'Performance Award for Outstanding Tour Operations.' I was absolutely shocked and thought I was going to start crying in the middle of the meeting! I went all red and started shaking and stuttering. When I recovered, I found out that I got a certificate, a $50 American Express gift card and... A SHINY NEW PIN FOR MY PAGE JACKET!!! I was more excited about the pin than anything else! Anyway, the award is given away each month and it goes to the page who receives the most positive comments on comment cards left by guests who take the studio tours. Considering I've only been touring for a month, it was a pretty big deal! In a job like mine, where you're not given a lot of feedback on a regular basis, it was nice to get a "pat on the back." It's a pretty cool honor that still makes me smile as a write about it :)
Nothing could really top Thursday, but the week continued to be great. Friday night there was a huge party in honor of two older pages who are graduating from the program, and it was a really great night. Pages know how to party! I've definitely met my kind of people :) We started at an apartment and then moved on to a bar called Carnival, which is a bar that is full of carnival games! It was too cool. I only wish I could have stayed later... but I had to tour at 9 am the next day!
Saturday tours went along smoothly, despite the lack of sleep from the night before, and that evening Maria came to see me! I hadn't seen her since July, so it was great to catch up over dinner. She introduced me to Four Square, which I am now absolutely obsessed with. After dinner we went to a bar, where Erin met us, but I left around 11 pm because I was having trouble staying awake! I came home, got in my jammies, and watched Saturday Night Live until I fell asleep. It was the first SNL that I didn't have to work, so it was funny to watch the show, knowing all the craziness that is happening behind the scenes!
This morning (er, ok, afternoon) I woke up after a solid 11 hours of sleep and felt like a new person. I hung around all day, watching the Olympics, cleaning my room, and eventually wandering over to the grocery store to pick up some baking supplies. I Skyped with Mom, Dad, and Kaitlyn and watched the USA v. Canada game, and then Mike met me at my apartment, and we went to Ost Cafe down on E. 12th St. We had a really nice time sipping wine and talking about our friends from home. When I got back, I had a late dinner, Skyped with Steph, and baked a DELISH Apple Cinnamon Crumb Cake. Most of it came in a prepackaged Pillsbury bread mix box, but I'm still pretty proud of myself for taking it from Apple Cinnamon Bread to Apple Cinnamon Crumb Cake. Making it was even more of a challenge than I anticipated because I realized shortly into the process that I had nothing to measure any of the ingredients with! I also don't have a thermometer for my oven, so the whole thing was a guessing game. It came out great though, and my whole apartment smells deliciously apple-cinnamony.
I have tomorrow off, as well, and I'm hoping to be uber-productive... once I spend a bit more time catching up on sleep. This coming week should be good too -- Jess is coming to see Late Night on Thursday, and I'll be getting together with the girls of 426 next Saturday. I feel like I'm finally comfortable and may even be (dare I say it?) hitting my stride here in NYC.
The thing that makes me the happiest, though?
I haven't seen a cockroach in two weeks :-D
Love,
Tara
Monday, February 22, 2010
And Nothing Will Be Impossible Unto You
Monday, February 22, 2010
8:49 PM Matthew 17:20 (I know. I surprised myself.)
At the risk of writing yet another sappy and sentimental blog post... I'm writing another sappy and sentimental blog post. If you can't stomach it, feel free to stop reading now. Seriously. It's okay. Even I cringe sometimes when I read these.
But while I was on the train going up to Boston the other day, I was checking Twitter on my phone, and I came across a quote. I follow TheDailyLove, which sends these random inspirational quotes out into the void, and one just really struck me. Struck me so much I can't really remember it (ha), but it had to do with putting all of your faith into the Universe or God or whatever it is you believe in.
And, as you know, I'd been having a tough week at work. And I'd been having a tough week personally because of (I'll admit it) Valentine's Day. And believe me when I say I truly HATE that Valentine's Day bothered me because I truly HATE when single people are all single and bitter about a day that celebrates Love. But that is how I found myself last week. Single, and bitter about it.
So, I'm stuck on this train that's running and hour and a half late after a really long, hard week, and I thought, 'Okay, FINE.' It wasn't an angry "fine," it was more of an exasperated, okay-you-win "fine." I'll do it. I'll just put all of my faith into the Universe. I'm going to believe that everything is happening for a reason, and when I get frustrated or lonely or sad or lose hope for humanity, I will remember to have faith.
And I've decided I'm going to do this, this whole crazy having-faith-and-not-questioning-the-Universe thing, for three months. Because, while putting a time limit on faith may not exactly seem like real faith, I'm still me. And it makes me feel better to know I have a date when I can reassess and decide if this philosophy is working for me. My biggest fear is that by completely letting go, I'll lose sight of the life goals I have for myself. Right now I think of "having faith" as following blindly. I hope that will change.
Anyway, stay tuned. And have faith that I'll keep you posted...
BA DUM CHHHHH!
Anyone? Anyone?
Love,
Tara
8:49 PM Matthew 17:20 (I know. I surprised myself.)
At the risk of writing yet another sappy and sentimental blog post... I'm writing another sappy and sentimental blog post. If you can't stomach it, feel free to stop reading now. Seriously. It's okay. Even I cringe sometimes when I read these.
But while I was on the train going up to Boston the other day, I was checking Twitter on my phone, and I came across a quote. I follow TheDailyLove, which sends these random inspirational quotes out into the void, and one just really struck me. Struck me so much I can't really remember it (ha), but it had to do with putting all of your faith into the Universe or God or whatever it is you believe in.
And, as you know, I'd been having a tough week at work. And I'd been having a tough week personally because of (I'll admit it) Valentine's Day. And believe me when I say I truly HATE that Valentine's Day bothered me because I truly HATE when single people are all single and bitter about a day that celebrates Love. But that is how I found myself last week. Single, and bitter about it.
So, I'm stuck on this train that's running and hour and a half late after a really long, hard week, and I thought, 'Okay, FINE.' It wasn't an angry "fine," it was more of an exasperated, okay-you-win "fine." I'll do it. I'll just put all of my faith into the Universe. I'm going to believe that everything is happening for a reason, and when I get frustrated or lonely or sad or lose hope for humanity, I will remember to have faith.
And I've decided I'm going to do this, this whole crazy having-faith-and-not-questioning-the-Universe thing, for three months. Because, while putting a time limit on faith may not exactly seem like real faith, I'm still me. And it makes me feel better to know I have a date when I can reassess and decide if this philosophy is working for me. My biggest fear is that by completely letting go, I'll lose sight of the life goals I have for myself. Right now I think of "having faith" as following blindly. I hope that will change.
Anyway, stay tuned. And have faith that I'll keep you posted...
BA DUM CHHHHH!
Anyone? Anyone?
Love,
Tara
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